personal coach seeks to form an SAHD "advisory board&qu

[Anonymous]

I am a personal coach trained through the Coaches Training Institute (CTI). While I'm interested in range of human endeavors, I'm especially jazzed about people who make courageous choices and stay-at-home dads fall into that category. My father was not an SAHD, but he was very involved with all three of his kids. The majority of my friends and cousins didn't have fathers like him. He had long work days but still made time for us in the evenings, and I'm in awe of all that he gave to us despite the expense of forgoing time for himself. And he never complained about it, never pointed out the costs! (Mom gave us a lot, too, but she was more apt to point out the sacrifices... :wink: )

It stands to reason that stay-at-home dads have a compelling impact on families, theirs certainly and perhaps others in their community. By choosing to shape the family structure outside the typical breadwinner/caregiver model, the tried and true values behind that choice are getting some fresh air. I'd like to bring my coaching skills to this group in a supportive way. I'd like to not just support their role as a primary caregiver but also in a way that honors the whole person, their whole life. I'm not quite sure, however, how to do that. I have ideas about what the support might look like, such as in-person workshops, mastermind groups of SAHD's, telephone workshops, individual coaching, etc., but I'm hoping that some of you will be open to building a dialogue that gives a clearer view of how that can best be accomplished.

If you would like a few credentials, I'm a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) and the Georgia Coaches Association. (Unfortunately, my website is still under construction, otherwise I would point you to that as well.)

It would be great to get feedback via this open forum, but since some people might prefer to comment less publicly, feel free to email me directly: melissa@huzzahcoaching.net.

Thanks for making a place in your blog for these sorts of requests!

[SAHF]

You have come to the right place! We SAHDs are full of information and we are not scared to share them. We talk about everything you can think of from, dirty diapers, to making beer!

If you have some questions or ideas you would like to through at us, we (collectively) would be more than happy to help you out!

[Chef Dave hi-spd]

One thing that I think wouldn't be to bad would be advise on exercise. If it was taylored to kids. I know my daughter and I will be bicycling plenty this summer but it would be nice to find some ideas of other fun activities that will improve health. She will be enrolling in the next level swimming class in july but that's about as far as I can go. Maybe there are some fun activities that we can do together?

[GoatBeard]

I'd like to have a personal trainer. I can't to seem to get myself motivated to get back in shape -- mayhaps someone else yelling at me would work? Heh.

Back on topic:

I don't understand. What will a personal coach do, exactly?

[tt3]

Exercise, yeah, thats something that needs to be done in this house...
But I'm with the rest of the guys, shoot something specific across our bows and we'll be happy to give our perspective on it.
I hope you come back and tell us more, it sounds very interesting!

[jeffus]

I just don't get it.

Are you like a lactation consultant? Or What? Maybe you can coach my kid on how to latch on and make friends and influence toddlers?

Perhaps, with no money down, my kid can own the playground and charge admission to all the other kids...

[GoatBeard]

I just don't get it.

Ditto.

[Weston]

Is this it? -



1. What is life coaching?
Coaching is a professional service providing clients with feedback, insights, and guidance from an outside vantage point. The profession of coaching is similar to the practice of a physician, attorney, or psychologist.
The major difference is that coaching is an on-going collaborative partnership built on taking action. In this powerful alliance, clients find themselves:

Doing more than they would on their own
Taking themselves more seriously
Creating momentum and consistency
Taking more effective and focused actions
Becoming more balanced and fulfilled

People hire a coach when they are making a career transition, starting a new business, feeling dissatisfied, re-evaluating life choices, or simply looking for personal and professional breakthroughs.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for all of your responses. It's helpful to be told, " I don't get it." That let's me know that the spaghetti I tossed at the wall wasn't cooked enough to stick.

Personal coaching is not an easy thing to define in a single sentence because it encompasses a lot. So, I've taken the long explanation route, I apologize in advance for the lengthiness of it.

1) Coaching gives someone a way to take inventory of their life: where one lives, works, plays; the people in their lives; are there any personal interests they've lost sight of and want back. Example: Finding ways for incorporating exercise into the daily routine and being committed to sticking with it.

2) Coaching gives someone an objective resource for important, difficult conversations, e.g. "I want to quit my corporate job to be a freelance technical writer, but my spouse and I tend to get into an argument when the topic comes up." By giving themselves permission to explore this topic, they can make the conscious choice to pursue it or not pursue it.

3) Coaching is a way of getting past fears, e.g a fear of failure can make it hugely difficult to make decisions about careers, relationships, even side interests. We lug around a big bag of fears that we often don't share with another person or even name for ourselves. That bag of fears sometimes stop us from making conscious choices and from taking the actions we want to take.

4) Coaching is a way of creating a vision of the future and creating a path to that future, e.g. A person wants to get their doctorate in special education, move to a developing country, and start a private school that fills an educational void for children from impoverished families. Not all future visions are that big. For some people, the future they want is to simply live by a lake and fish every day. And as simple as that sounds, the circumstances of their lives may not make that vision easy to attain.

As the coach, I ask the get-to-the-heart-of-the-matter questions that brings the client to some answers. Similar to a fitness trainer, I champion the client's efforts, and I am there to hold them accountable for the actions they say they want to take. In a nutshell, coaching is about learning and action, the present and the future. Unlike therapy, it is not about understanding or resolving the past.

Here is a specific idea that I have for a workshop. I'd like to get a group of 10-15 stay-at-home dads who either know of something that's missing in their lives that they want back, or who want to try something they haven't tried before. Every other week we meet as a group, each member of the group has a goal, the group brainstorms together how each person might go about reaching that goal, each person chooses one of the possibilties and is willing to be accountable to the group for taking action. The point of having others share in the brainstorming is that we often get great ideas that are based off others' great ideas. Also, I'm operating on the premise that even people who are content with their lives still have something they'd like to reclaim or something they'd like to add to their mix. Since I imagine that many stay-at-home dads are in single income homes that don't have a big slush fund for babysitters, I'm wondering if a workshop like this would be appealing if done by telephone.

Thoughts?

I really appreciate your help.

MG

[Weston]

Good luck on your endeavor... I'm going to frank with you and guess that most guys wouldn't be up for this though. Too much humility involved...hehe.

Now if you live in Southern Ca. somewhere it might work...

:wink:

[GoatBeard]

I can see how what you are offering could help people out, and I thought about it a long while.

My life is pretty dadgum awesome. I don't want for anything. Sure, I could stand to exercise, but I think that's more of me being lazy (because I like lazy) than anything else.

I consider myself lucky to be able to be a SAHD, lucky to be able to work and grateful for it all. What a life.

[SAHF]

I can see how this would help, but then again, isn't this what this forum is all about? Please do not get offended, but this forum is our way of brainstorming with multiple dads and ideas.

SAHDs come to this site to get a little insight that others might have and most walk away with a few choices they may select from. Are they committed to the choices, no, but never the less, they have them.

[jeffus]

I got a really good personal coach - my wife. She lets me know when I take myself too seriously and reminds me what's really important in life. And I have an even better coach in my 4 year old daughter -who lets me look at life with new eyes every single day. How does it get any better?

I don't commute to work, I don't have an ear-bud for my cell phone cause no one knows my number, I don't experience road-rage cause I can go to the playground anytime I want. I own my home without a mortgage and the 2 brand new cars are paid-off. And I don't have to play office politics. Again, how does it get any better?

Everybody is happy and healthy, fed and clothed. Once again, how does it get any better?

My last boss was an arrogant, micromanager and he hired a professional coach to follow him around - the verdict: arrogant, micromanager. I guess the news was delivered with the softest of tones - but it was obvious to the most casual of observers. And he got paid to say it to his face - if I said it out loud, I'd get fired. What's wrong here?!

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Just want to thank all of the dads who sent feedback on my ideas. I had a good feeling that reaching out to your group would give me some clarity and insight, and I wasn't disappointed.

An especial thanks to the person who wrote a fabulous description of coaching--great encapsulation that was full but concise.

Best wishes to you and your families.

Melissa Grossman

[Anonymous]

I saw something about personnal coaching on Penn and Teller, what was it they said it was? um, I think.. that it was.... BS!!
sao

[pstone]

If you were a SAHD yourself with years experience I could see it, but a coach for SAHDs that is NOT makes no sense to me at all.

The reason I come here is these men have and are doing it with me.

Shrug

[jeffus]

Bump!

Melissa Grossman :morons:

Personal coach :morons:

Benj :morons:



:twak: So there!

[Hockeyfan]

Nice. What the heck do I need a personal coach for? That's silly. Am I not an adult. Well I don't want to put that up for discussion. Anyways. Funny read. I'm really surprised she didn't get a more positive response on this subject. Did I tell you that Canadians are genuinely sarcastic?

[jeffus]

I gotta make it a point to go to bed earlier....:eusa_whistle: