Daytime what to do?

[dad of 2]

When moms gone and I have our 3 month old (jack) and 2 almost 3 year old (Alex). I feel guilty because I cant devote that much time to Alex he kind of runs a little wild around the house and I cant teach him things like I used. I used to take him to the park/river etc almost everyday now we barely go in the back yard! Anybody got any helpful ideas?

Dad of 2
"give me coffee or give me death"

[mjknapp]

I am in the exact same situation, I have a three yr old, and a six month old. I include portia in everything I do with Tyler. I have her help me make bottles, prepare lunch, grab diapers for me. When I do have time, when he might be taking a short nap, sometimes I will play a game with her, or any other activity that she likes to do.

[mjknapp]

But honestly, on another note. Sometimes I just make her play by herself, I think a little time playing alone each day helps a child with creativity skills, and self confidence. I am not saying alot of alone time is good, wouldnt want to isolate the child, just a little.

[Don-Dad]

Get one of those nice sturdy backpacks. You can put the little one in it and atleast take him out in the yard, of course you won't be running around but it's a start.

[mjknapp]

That is a good idea too, you can blow bubbles, and the baby in your backpack will enjoy the sun too.

[Remington]

I understand the difficulty here because both of the children's development is very important and you feel a sense of neglect. I felt this way for a while but after I stayed home with 3 I learned a few things.

First off, the attention your children are going to get is much better quality than if you dropped them off at day care all day and then after work picked them up. Mot places these days, unless you are fortunate, do not work individually with your child. So, remember first off, you have a huge advantage.

Secondly, learn routines. What I mean is focus on the things that happen during the day like, when does your oldest get sleepy and need a nap. When does the baby. As the baby gets older they will sleep more on a schedule and that will help.

When the baby sleeps, spend time with the older one and vice versa. Remember children (and even adults) learn more in short bursts. Spend 20 minutes each day doing the alphabet, 20 minutes building blocks, and then 20 minutes reading. This is a total of 1 hour. My baby sleeps for at 1 hour during the day.

Just 1 hour per day of quality time together is so much better than none. And if you can make it so that it falls near the same time everyday the better they will feel. They will begin to look forward to it. If they enjoy it so much they will be quiet and helpful letting you shush the baby to sleep.

After I had 3 (my youngest will be 1 year on July 8) I learned that not every child can get one on one time every single day. So in a way my oldest 2 became like twins born on a different day if that makes sense. I started to treat them almost the same age. I read to them together, I put them down for naps together (different rooms :roll: ), we ate lunch together, I tell them to go play together, they even take baths together. And then there is the baby. So there are ways to work with everything.

And like you had mentioned, it is great for a child's development to play by themselves. My 2 oldest will break off in the afternoon and kind of get locked into their own imagination for an hour or so. Sammy will play with trucks and he develops his own scenerios. My daughter will pretend to talk to grammy on her pretend cell phone, or she still changes her baby doll and puts the baby doll down for a nap.

THese are all very important parts of development. But, if you are ever unsure whether you are doing the right things, just make sure you give them all lots of love and attention.

Some days when i put my kids down for bed and I go tuck them in I sometimes feel I wasn't there for them all day like I could have been. SO I chance the kids up over the stairs yelling, "kisses, kisses all around." and they scream and giggle and I give them a good 3 minute kiss attack.

This assures them that when they go to bed they are loved no matter what events took place during the day. Like when Sammy, spilt his drink and I might have raised my voice or when elizabeth broke mommies expensive china set and I spanked her and sent her early on her nap.

As the baby gets older and is able to sit up, things will get better. You can just do everything together. Buy one of them radio flyer wagons with the rugged outdoor wheels and toss them in the back and pull them around. Just getting the kids out of the house can make a HUGE difference. Routine is good, but doing different things within your routine helps growth and stimulation. For instance every day after lunch we are gonna go do something different. Start writing down ideas of what to do and mark them off on the calendar.

Then remind them days in advance that "On Monday, we are gonna go to the park", or "Tuesday, we are gonna walk up to the childrens bookstore and look at books."

These are not huge events for you but if you make a big deal of them and get them excited these things can be a lot of fun for the kids. I mean if we all planned exciting stuff for us we couldn't afford, Disney World on Monday, Sea World on Tuesday, Baseball game Wednesday, etc... So make the little things fun.

My kids get excited and don't know what to do when we mention we are going to Walmart. They run all over the house trying to find their shoes. What is really at Walmart? Nothing really, we just make it real fun! :D

[mjknapp]

Good post Rem, I found that building the excitement level works for alot of stuff also, My daughter gets really excited on trips to walmart to. Usually, because me and her get our own cart, and fly around the store as mommy and the baby are looking at the boring stuff. We go get pretzels, and look at toys, tools, and pets. We have alot of fun doing that. But before long, my son will be big enough to want to go with us to, so it will be me and the kids tearing the store up, while mommy is looking at clothes.

[tt3]

Tara LOVES pushing the cart around the store. I hope her aim improves soon though.
The local grocery store has kid sized carts, and she was tearing off with one not noticing where she was going... she headed straight for a display rack that the cart fit under but her forehead didn't... Thankfully Val was chasing her and caught her seriously just in the nick of time!
I was roaring with laughter! People probably thought I was drunk or high or just mean laughing at my wife chasing my daughter, but hey, I do it all day, its fun to see it from the other side :lol: :lol:
We got one of those baby bjorn things that strap to the chest. Its incredibly comfy with little ones, and I have a feeling our number 2 will be spending a lot of time in there!

[mjknapp]

I tried using opur baby backpack at first, but I have a bad back, and it was killing my lower back, I would rather jsut carry him, and not to mention he is monster sized. the kid is six months old, and weighs 21 pounds. My three yr old only weighs 29.

[Don-Dad]

Suck it up, a little back pain, :-({|=

JUST KIDDING!

I put our little guy in the backpack when we go to the grocery store and the park. And your right, it can take a toll on the lower back.

[tt3]

we also have a backpack stroller that we got for a steal, it worked wonderfully through airports and stuff when you really had to haul butt to get to a gate, or uneven ground or whatever, just sling her back. the balance isn't great on it though, so yeah, I hear ya on the back ache
it took a while to get used to, as well.
I'm tellin' ya, that baby bjorn thinger worked awesome for Tara up until she was 18-20lbs... not as rough on the back and shoulders too.

[Remington]

LL Bean has stuff for kids at LL Kids.

I have a nice backpack that you put the child in and strap to your back. It is good even if you went on huge backpacking excursions, but I use it personally for day hikes. I make the older kids walk and it tires them out and it is also good for them.

And the baby gets to go too.

Be careful though, it takes a few days to figure out the best way to get the pack on and off your back with a baby in there. :lol:

[mjknapp]

My wife was just looking at that carrier on ll bean, she wants to get one for when we go to N.C on vacation. Maybe I will look into it too, cause i am usually the one carrying the boy around.

[Don-Dad]

Where do you go in NC, we visit the Outerbanks every other year.

I have a nice backpack we bought for the first guy. Still works great. Comfortable for a hour or so with my 21 pounder in tow. Has a plastic base that is sturdy. I think we bought it at Babies R Us and last I saw they still had a similar model.

These are the kinds of things I will try to add to the shopping section. Time permitting :wink:

[tt3]

Guys, I gotta tell ya, I love our backpack stroller. I don't remember the name off hand, but it wasn't one of those 150$ ones. Its comfy and reminds me of a external frame backpack. (used to do a little hiking when I was younger ;) ) They sell for around 50$...
Here (http://www.strollers.com/store/customer/product.php?productid=250&cat=13&page=2) it is.
Seems a bit inflated in price though :shock:

[mjknapp]

Where do you go in NC, we visit the Outerbanks every other year.

We are going to Oak Island, We have never been there, and are looking for a place we can go to every year, so the kids will have a good memory of family vacations when they are older. We rented a house right on the beach for a week. If we go and dont like it there, we will find another place next year, but from what I am told, and what I seen on the internet about this house, it is extremely nice, so I am hoping we can just go here every year.

[Anonymous]

Hey there are some good ideas here.

I have a front pack baby bjorn. He fits in it well. I use it.

(Time to brag) I had alex counting to 20 reciting the alphabet, he knows all of his shapes and colors even some of the odd ones at two and a half. Now it seems that I barely have time to read a story because it is so hard to manage Jack and Alex together. I know it will get easier as Jack settles into more of a routine. Until then I feel more like I am watching the clock until mom gets home! So I can pass Jack off.

Actually we had thought that my wife would not have to go back to work so soon but she had too part time. She breast feeds and we did that for Alex until about 11 months and we want to do the same for Jack. She has too pump while at work (anybody else do this too?). She is basically a school administrator so we are lucky because she gets a month and a half off. We were hoping that she would have the entire time from birth through the summer off. It didnt work out. Leaving Jack in her very capable hands, baby crys... give boob. Me, he cries till I get the bottle ready. Grrr.

We both wanted to have someone home for our kids. Rather than pay someone else to raise our kids. We are lucky enough that we can do it so we did.

Ramble ramble...

Dad of 2
"give me coffee or give me death"

[tt3]

Dad of 2, sign in bud!
My wife pumped for Tara at work the first year. They were pretty accomadating for the most part. She'd find an empty office, lock the door and be good to go.
Funny though, one of the offices she used turned into a storage space for the folks around it, and one secratary had a key and kept coming in while she was in there... talk about rude, I think she was doing it on purpose to keep Val from pumping there.

[mjknapp]

Keep rambling dad of 2, it helps,

There are some days that I feel exactly like you do when you said you couldnt wait for mom to get home, to pass the baby off, Today was a prime example. He has been so crabby this week, and men just dont have the patience of a woman, for the most part, I know there are exceptions to the rule.

It put me in a bad mood today, and my wife and I just got back from sears, and it was everything I could do to not get mad, or irritated at my wife for anything and everything. I got irritated a few times, and she kept asking me "what crawled up your but today" and that would just make me even more irritated. Well the day is pretty much done, and my wife has off tomorrow, so tomorrow is another day, Tonight is going to be playstation2 night for me........I found a new game by accident, "Sphinx and the cursed mummy" And it is so much fun, I am going to go play it now for a few hours........Goodnight everyone.

[underfoot]

Where do you go in NC, we visit the Outerbanks every other year.

We are going to Oak Island, We have never been there, and are looking for a place we can go to every year, so the kids will have a good memory of family vacations when they are older. We rented a house right on the beach for a week. If we go and dont like it there, we will find another place next year, but from what I am told, and what I seen on the internet about this house, it is extremely nice, so I am hoping we can just go here every year.

Oak Island is nice! A friend of mine goes there a couple times every summer with his family and they love it. Good place to relax.

[mjknapp]

Cool, thanks underfoot, I will let you know how we liked it in august!!!

[tt3]

Hey Mike, you know what turns me right around is knowing I've got a beer to rack, or a wine to stir or bottle, gravities to take... I look forward to that. Tonight was kind of a big night in my beer world short of brewing. I've now got beer in 3 of 4 kegs... its never EVER happened before. I've got two wines to take care of and another to start. I tell ya, I love fermenting! :D :lol:
I haven't gamed since I solved dungeon seige... looking forward to the second one coming out.

[Don-Dad]

and men just dont have the patience of a woman, for the most part, I know there are exceptions to the rule.

Geez, there I go again falling into the minority :P First I was a librarian, mostly women or gay men, then I worked for a non profit that employed 4 men and 30 women, My son kids stay up later than everyone elses and now I am exception to the patience rule, I think I need a drink, then I can be part of the majority :drinkers: You Pennsylvania folks might appreciate my latest favorite beer, Yuengling, it just made its way to Central NY. MMMMM, good!

[mjknapp]

Yuengling, wow, it is very popular around here, everyone loves to drink it, :partyman: But I dont really like it. One of the Eagles games I went to two years ago, I forgot my I.D. Now I know I look way over 21, but they are very strict at these games, and everyone has to show an I.D, The only place I could get to serve me was a Yuengling stand, and I think I managed to get 6 or so down. But that was the last time I drank Yuengling.