getting baby to sleep

[young-blalock]

I have a son who's 8 months old. He rarely sleeps through the night. :toimonster: He gets up probably 6 to 8 times a night. When he is teething, it is worse. Many people have suggested to me that this clears up at 6 months, not with us.

My wife does not want to let him cry it out. I'm not sure I want to try that either. Any advice? [-o<

[tt3]

We've been kind of in the same boat, we did let Tara cry it out because it was just us she kept up. Leah has been different because we didn't want her to wake up Tara, especially since Tara's been sick. Soooo...
I've got a routine that we do for bedtime, its the same for both kids. With Leah after stories we "rockabye" and for a goodly amount of time I'd rock until she was so totally asleep that I could put her down without waking. Gradually I'd put her down earlier and less asleep to get her used to the idea. She's 9.5 months and its touch and go putting her down awake. If she falls alseep right away, she's good for 2 hrs nap, and 5-6hrs during the night. It very much helps that she can fall asleep on her own, so when she wakes at night she knows right where she is. (I might have also let her cry it out for a nap time or two, just to establish for her that she can fall asleep by herself.)

During the night, in fact last night was miserable, it took me 1.5hrs to get her to sleep. My a$$ is dragging today, but once she was asleep, she stayed that way for 5 hours.
Good luck,

[sao95]

we used cry it out for the nap and going to sleep at night, (only really strictly after she turned one or so) but then middle of the night I'd lay on the couch with ther to get her back to sleep, but you say 6-8 times a night, that seems like a lot to me. Not sure what I'd suggest as I don't know wnyone who has dealt with that often in the night at that age. I would definately try to figure out if there is something in the room making noise or what not, then probably mention it to the pediatrician, could be something isn't agreeing with the little guy's belly at night or something. Hope you get it worked out before you fall over from lack of sleep ;)
sao

[Thundercranium]

Is he on a routine? In my limited experience, I have discovered that the more babies are exposed to the same events at the same time of day, the happier they are. The happier they are, the better they sleep.

My mother raised a large family and swore by a strict routine. I always thought it was the only way she could handle us all as well as keep up the house (I have no idea how she managed), however, having one of my own has been enlightening to say the least!

My friend and his wife have such a wacky work schedule that their 18 mo. little girl seldom goes to to bed at the same time two nights on a row. She also rarely goes a night without waking at least three times. Our 13 mo. son has the same routine every day and very rarely wakes (thank God) sleeping from 6:45 PM to 6 AM. This started when he was around 8 mo. We found the more strict we were with the routine, the better he slept.

We have been accused of being slaves to the schedule, but it works for us!

Disclaimer: all babies are different - what works for one may not work for another!

[Jackson's Dad]

Sorry I missed your post when you first posted it.

My wife does not want to let him cry it out. I'm not sure I want to try that either. Any advice? [-o<

Well, what follow is my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. (Your results may vary, etc.). Some people think that letting the baby cry is "cruel". But I think it is the opposite. Heck, babies cry - it's what they do! And for things like bedtime, letting him cry and learn how to fall asleep on their own is one of the best things we can teach them.

But really, it is not about "letting him cry". It's really more about training yourself to not immediately respond to every cry, to not rush in and try to fix something. When your kid cries, time slows down. It feels like he's been crying an hour when it'd only been a few minutes. "Letting him cry" is really teaching yourself to give him a few minutes, then a few minutes more. Give him the chance to learn before you try to do it for him.

I did a bunch of posts on this forum when we ferberized our kid at 5 months: check it out (http://www.dadstayshome.com/dadforum/viewtopic.php?t=470). It worked very well for us. But the one big thing we learned is: read Dr. Ferber' book, the entire thing, both of you. Discuss it. Ignore the parts you don't like, add things that makes sense for you. There's no one way to do this. Do some "roleplaying" where you imagine very scenarios (e.g. he's been crying for 30 minutes) and work out together how you will respond.

Hope this helps,
Dan