Weight Gain

[revdaddylove]

After having 2 beautiful babies over the last 2 years, My bride has put on some weight...........o.k. o.k. so she weighs more than I do and I'm 5" taller than her. I love her just the same. She on the other hand is mortified! She won't let me see her naked. We still make love, but in pitch blackness so i can't see her. I tried to suggest working out, but she claims to be to tired. I have a feeling this has alot to do Postpartum Depression. I'm trying to deal w/ the issue w/out it becoming an explosive situation :axe:
HELP!!! ](*,)

[Bollux]

I hear ya, my girlfriend is the same way. She has retained some of the weight and is a bit shy over it. She has enrolled in a gym and all and has been going almost everyday before work for a little while. I laughed when she said she didnt want to break a sweat at the gym and just did some light walking on the tredmill. I said to her that sweating helps the removal of the weight and she needs to do more then just some light walking in order for her to see the results she wants to see. Meanwhile, I am constantly told by my boss and coworkers that it seems I keep losing more and more weight and that I look good. (Ok, I work as a "mommy and me" type of teacher and my boss and coworkers are all women and i guess they are mroe finely attuned to such things.) Personally I don't think I am losing any weight as I have never really lost alot of weight, I just flux around the same weight give or take 10 lbs. Hopefully they (boss/coworkers) don't say things about my weight to her when she goes to the classes with my son cause then I am sure she will get even more self conscience. Afterall, lets face it women and their weight will ALWAYS be an issue.

[tt3]

We got a familiy membership to the Y. Its now two or three nights a week and a part of our "routine", 1 hr of squash and then whatever else we feel like.
I like Louis's idea as well.
Bollux try telling her she'd look more out of place not breaking a sweat... ooh, maybe that'd be a bit much. Strike that.

[Bollux]

She just thinks she will lose weight from a slow paced walk on a tredmill. I am like hello its called working out cause it is work, though I think since I told her she has been doing some other things other then tredmill which should help her some.

[Bollux]

Well my last relationship before this one was with someone who had an eating disorder and well let's just say I would never do that again. Talk about a nightmare.

[Muz]

Does she have access to a gym near work? Or even just the ability to get outside at lunchtime. My wife is in the same boat. She spent 18 months complaining about her weight, but not DOING anything about it. Finally, when she couldn't fit in her "fat" jeans anymore, she started using the gym at work during her lunch hour instead of wasting time on the 'net. She also started taking a weekly yoga class after work one night a week. It cuts into her time with our son, but overall she is much happier and is starting to see some real results.

[bgfunk76]

My girlfriend actually looks better now (10 months after giving birth) than she ever has. I look like I'm the one who had the kid. I've gained 20 lbs since being a SAHD. #-o

[Don-Dad]

Though I do not resemble "fat bastard" too much, I do tend to say "Get in my belly!" when it comes to eating :lol: Especially this time of year.

I usually hit the gym 2-5 times a week and tae kwon do twice a week but my eating habit keep my weight steady, probably could afford to lose about 15 lbs. :wink:

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend actually looks better now (10 months after giving birth) than she ever has. I look like I'm the one who had the kid. I've gained 20 lbs since being a SAHD. #-o

Been there, done that.

My wife lost the "baby weight" for the first one (understand we started having kids in our early 30s) within about the same timeframe--10 mos she was back to her starting weight.

It's the second one you gotta look out for. 12 yrs. and counting, and she has not returned to even close to the 125lbs she was then (she's 5 7 tall). There is clearly some physiological thing at work there.

A suggestion for you: first, pay no attention to the Soloflex (or whatever they call it now) or other workout machine commercials and infomercials. If you were paid $4-60K a year to work out full time, and had a personal trainer and dietician, you too could look like the Soloflex guy!

Here is what I found that works:
1. If what's important to you is showing off how "cut" you are down at Muscle Beach, stop reading now.
2. Plan a DAILY (key term, screw the 3-5 times a week! advice), 1/2+ (to an hour) workout and plan on rising and shining at least a couple of hours before anyone else to do it, and STICK to it, all year except between Halloween and New Years. Hey, let's live in the real world, ok?
3. You don't need an expensive, noisy home gym. Here is what you DO need: a kinetic (explain in a minute) step machine, and APPROPRIATE freeweights (dumbells--not a comment, just what they are called!), and an offroad bike (the kind you pedal).

Stepper: Kinetic means YOU power IT, it's not some monster machine that walks for you. These are inexpensive new and even cheaper at garage sales after about March. You can get them for under $100 new at Sears and Wally-Mart all day long (again look for after Christmas sales!). You can get them for $20-$50 at garage sales, but you gotta go LOOK. These are upright devices that at most have a pedometer/timer device (batteries). You step on it, pushing down, no work going back up. Set up a TIMED (not miles) workout program and use it to WARM UP, too. I do 18 minutes; don't just stand up and walk. WORK the different muslces by working the stepper.

Freeweights. Unless you really know what you are doing, don't go to the Workout Outlet store and let some former professional body builder talk you into 3,000lbs and a monster benchset. Don't think if you aren't hefting 80# with your ears you are a pussy. Yeah, I know guys with gyms like that, sure. If that's you, fine. If you are a more avg. guy, start small. Freeweights are available at the same stores.

Bike/Running: I can't run. Bad knees, so I know nothing about it. I ride a bike, instead. Hard. And far. Where I live, I can only do this part of the year ('cuz I am not crazy). Like the step machine, you can pick up used offroad (expl. follows) for anywhere from $100 to $5000 after Christmas. If you have the $$ look in the want ads for the guys dumping 2-3 year old bikes 'cuz they got a new one. You can get these pretty cheap at Wally-Mart, Sears and of course bike stores, too--constant sales. If you have to have the bike Lance rides, fine, but you can spend major scratch on these things. Oh, and GET a FREAKIN' HELMET!

My first bike was a Huffy that weighed 40lbs (this is 12 years ago, mind). I thought I would die the first time I went 2 miles on it. By the time I replaced it with a "real" bike, I could hump that monster 30 miles without breaking a sweat. It was like riding a brick. But my legs LOOK like Vance's. And my doctor says my resting heart rate is so low, if I had not come in under my own power(I am 45), she'd have had to hospitalize me or pronounce me dead. Why offroad? Couple a' reasons: 1. Road bikes are more expensive and much harder to upkeep (delicate little things!), 2. You can ride an offroad on the street and bike paths, you take a road bike over a curb and plan on it being in the shop for a month. 3. It is MUCH harder to ride an offroad bike, on or off the road. Fat tires more weight mean more resistance. Again, if you are trying to look cool, I am the wrong guy to talk to. If you want to get healthy, 'nother story.

That's all it takes: step machine ($100), free weights ($100), bike AND HELMET (Get one. Wear it. Period. Yeah, yeah, you are too cool the dump. Mine has saved my life at least twice, and I don't ride all that crazy. You wanna live long enough to see that kid graduate, right?). $150-to-$??

The important thing is consistency. I KNOW that I simply WILL not work out this time of year, and I don't beat myself up about it. The other 9 mos. of the year, I work out at least 1x/day, often 2, and between March and Oct. put in 160-200 miles on the bike. You build up to this, by the way. One big problem is thinking you should be able to grunt your weight and run or ride 60 miles on the first day you begin working out, and that if you can't, you should just give up. After the holidays, I start on the stepper at 12 minutes. I stretch; I start over with my freeweights at TWELVE lbs (each arm) and work up to the 25#s. I do each step up for two weeks. Ditto the riding. I have a short-run route of about 6 mis. NOTHING on a bike. I do this for 2 weeks, even tho I am aching to go further. I stop 2x to stretch. The next leg boosts me up to approx. 15 mis. After 2 weeks of that, I am ready for 40-60 milers.

Same applies: you are gonna see guys out there who ride 300-500 miles a week and those who do cartwheels down Mt. McKinley on their bikes. If that's you, fine. If you are Joe Avg., you shrug this off and remind yourself that you are a grownup with lil ones at home who need their daddy. Oh, and GET A FREAKIN' HELMET!

Obviously, you'll need daycare/babysitter for your rides. During summertime, I would do mine in the early hours (sunup) while the wife was still home with the kids.

One more bit of advice: DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES get all healthy, then start nagging the wife to go with you. If she shows an interest, INVITE her along.

Best,
T

[DaddyO]

One more bit of advice: DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES get all healthy, then start nagging the wife to go with you. If she shows an interest, INVITE her along.


Great advice and I like your plan. I have put on far too much weight myself. I was planning to get an early morning paper route that would force me to hoof it for an hour or two every morning and bring in close to a grand a month. I might need to do something that severe to kick start my weight loss.

[DarthDaddy]

My best friend had a hip replacement this past summer. (32 Years Old) and after he recovered he started biking everyday. He has become a total bike nut, but he does not have a Off Road Bike. His prefered bike is a "Hybrid" or "Comfort" Bike. Needless to say next weekend we are getting me a new bike as well. (AND A HELMET) He is a bit of a nut and is probably riding today. He has full winter gear. The plan is trail riding (Packed Gravel) and street. Leave the hills to the goats. There are a few friends that ride with him so I have ridden a few times with them. They have an EXTRA Full Suspension Mountain bike. (Great OffRoad, Bad Onroad)

I have been on a weight rollercoaster all my life and was at my HIGHEST 3 years ago (6'3" 270#) and lowest a year and a half ago. (6'3" 217#) Stayed level at about 225-230# most of the time. Over the past six months due to lack of sleep and BAD habits I am now about 245#.

Currently I hit the treadmill everyday for between 30-60 minutes. Once I get my bike and the weather changes I will do the treadmill during the week and do the long rides in the early morning with my friend on the weekends.

:arrow: Treadmill- FREE (Given to me by a friend that no longer uses it)
:arrow: Bike & Accessories- Purchasing with a Bonus Check from Work. Going with a TREK Hybrid. Friend will not risk HIP on OffRoad. (Gravel trails YES)

Good Advice From other posters. Maybe we need a "HEALTH and WELLNESS" topic?

What About it Don :?:

[Don-Dad]

We do, this thread :) If i were only as active as the gamers thread, I may consider adding a new section for health and wellness :wink:

[stretch]

Funnily enough, if you are ever unlucky enough to blunder into the SAHD section of the bulletin boards on BabyCenter (or, as my wife refers to it, Psychomom.com), you'll find it's full of women complaining that their at-home husbands are all fat, lazy, depressed and addicted to daytime TV. I guess this one cuts both ways.

I decided early on that I wouldn't keep my sanity if I couldn't fit in some serious exercise without having to leave the house, so I bought a Concept 2 rowing machine like this and committed myself to hitting it hard for at least 30 minutes a day.

http://img365.imageshack.us/img365/5404/rowersmallhomeredo11197bg.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

It's pretty much as close to a full body workout as you can get on one machine (only the upper torso pressing muscles are not engaged in the rowing stroke) and you can totally kick your own butt and have time left to shower and change before the kid wakes up from an hour nap.

Anyway, I ended up dropping 25 pounds this year despite putting on a fair bit of muscle -- and I have to confess to getting an infantile little kick out of going to my wife's office party and being practically the only guy not carrying around 30+ extra pounds of desk-and-donut weight. More than that, though, it's the one time I get to do something for me, which feels really good, even though it hurts. Does that make sense?

[tt3]

Rowing and pushups and you're set, eh? hmmmm. How much room does it take up though?

[Patrickz]

Thats a great exercize as it is hard to hurt yourself doing it. I've become a fat blob my self and need to be more active. I have a window in the morning to go to the school gym and need to take more advantage of it. Only 25 bucks a semester to join for students.
Hey Don how about a section to show our progress in weight loss. It will have to be on the honor system however. Put in your weight and goal weight and show off your results. Make weekly entries. I would be willing to help some how. :wink:

[DarthDaddy]

Don how about a section to show our progress in weight loss. It will have to be on the honor system however. Put in your weight and goal weight and show off your results. Make weekly entries.

This would be like a "E-Budy" system to help everyone stay on track and get in shape. (Yes I know ROUND is a shape)

I would be up for that and I would even assist if needed.

[Don-Dad]

You guys should check out local gyms if you can afford it. Many have sitter services (YMCA is a great place for that) you can work out during the day while they watch the kids for an hour or so.

We could set up some sort of weight watchers section :) If there is enough who want to, then I am game. Maybe we can make some incentives? Free t-shirt to the winner? But we need proof? Digi pics of the scale reading or something?

[Bollux]

This would be like a "E-Budy" system to help everyone stay on track and get in shape. (Yes I know ROUND is a shape)

lol.. "Oh I'm in shape...I'm Round!" The Great White Hype

[stretch]

Rowing and pushups and you're set, eh? hmmmm. How much room does it take up though?
You need 9' by 4' worth of space to avoid bumping into anything. Breaks in half and stores in an average closet when you're done. The manufacturer's homepage is here (http://www.concept2.com) and has all the details. Since they primarily sell to boat clubs, rather than gyms, these things are absolutely bulletproof and, should you ever get tired of yours, there's a lively resale market with gently used examples often going on eBay for less than $100 off the original purchase price. I've also enjoyed and benefited from the lively online community (http://concept2.ipbhost.com/index.php) of dedicated (some might say addicted) C2 users.

PS: I have no affiliation with Concept 2 other than as a satisfied customer. Your mileage, as they say, may vary.