Chad Too
12-23-2005, 09:50 AM
Hey guys. I'm Chad and got referred here by Rebeldad.
I suppose I should explain the subject line. My wife and I adopted a beautiful son at birth in early 1997. We both kept working and placed him in an at-home daycare a friend ran. A few weeks shy of his third birthday he was diagnosed with leukemia. Immune-suppression is par for the course with chemo so continuing daycare was out of the question. Not to mention a lot of hospital time in the future.
I wanted one of us to stay home but we knew that we couldn't afford to lose any insurance we had at the time. Since I work in a 24-hour business, I went back to working second shift so I was able to be at home during the day and she was home in the evenings. Hence, Semi-quasi. For 2.5 years DW and I really only saw each other for 5 minutes a day on weekdays and weekends. We got very stingy about making any non-family plans on weekends!
The isolation some many SAHDs feel was doubled for me because even the well known tricks (playgroups, library story time, parks) were off-limits to us most of the time because of the immune suppression. Even grocery store trips were iffy. I had joined the Yahoogroups dads-at-home listserv and found that participating there really helped with the isolation (finding time to be online was helped by the fact that the chemo made my son take 3-hour naps right up until he ended chemo and started kindergarten). I've been to the Chicago convention several times and I count those men as some of my best friends. I'm looking forward to getting to know the men here too.
My son is very healthy now, thank you for asking. He's now four-years post-chemo with no signs of relapse, which is promising. I'd use brighter words, but one of the boys who had the same type of leukemia as my son (they were both diagnosed the same month) has just has the leukemia return even though he, too, had made it to the four-year mark. Just when you think you can put it all behind you.
Once my son was old enough to start school, I went back to the day shift my seniority entitled me to. He just turned nine.
Oh, how I miss my at-home days! How I loved the endless games of pirate, and watching Zoboomafoo (sp?) together right before naptime. My son and I have a bond that other dads I encounter notice right away and wish they had. I had to take him through some pretty nasty stuff and he knows that, even when things hurt, I'll be right there to help him through it.
I'm currently finishing my masters degree in communication. My thesis is on the concept of community and how online communities compare to their geographic counterparts. The dads-at-home Yahoogroup is where I've focused my attentions. I hope to graduate in May.
Other interests include involved fathering, technology and techie gadgets (I was wireless for 802.11a!), language immersion education (my son attends a public magnet school where he is taught mostly in Japanese), travel, and, of course at-home dads! Oh yeah, and we're hoping to start construction on a new house this spring.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Looking forward to getting to know y'all.
Chad in Charlotte, NC
I suppose I should explain the subject line. My wife and I adopted a beautiful son at birth in early 1997. We both kept working and placed him in an at-home daycare a friend ran. A few weeks shy of his third birthday he was diagnosed with leukemia. Immune-suppression is par for the course with chemo so continuing daycare was out of the question. Not to mention a lot of hospital time in the future.
I wanted one of us to stay home but we knew that we couldn't afford to lose any insurance we had at the time. Since I work in a 24-hour business, I went back to working second shift so I was able to be at home during the day and she was home in the evenings. Hence, Semi-quasi. For 2.5 years DW and I really only saw each other for 5 minutes a day on weekdays and weekends. We got very stingy about making any non-family plans on weekends!
The isolation some many SAHDs feel was doubled for me because even the well known tricks (playgroups, library story time, parks) were off-limits to us most of the time because of the immune suppression. Even grocery store trips were iffy. I had joined the Yahoogroups dads-at-home listserv and found that participating there really helped with the isolation (finding time to be online was helped by the fact that the chemo made my son take 3-hour naps right up until he ended chemo and started kindergarten). I've been to the Chicago convention several times and I count those men as some of my best friends. I'm looking forward to getting to know the men here too.
My son is very healthy now, thank you for asking. He's now four-years post-chemo with no signs of relapse, which is promising. I'd use brighter words, but one of the boys who had the same type of leukemia as my son (they were both diagnosed the same month) has just has the leukemia return even though he, too, had made it to the four-year mark. Just when you think you can put it all behind you.
Once my son was old enough to start school, I went back to the day shift my seniority entitled me to. He just turned nine.
Oh, how I miss my at-home days! How I loved the endless games of pirate, and watching Zoboomafoo (sp?) together right before naptime. My son and I have a bond that other dads I encounter notice right away and wish they had. I had to take him through some pretty nasty stuff and he knows that, even when things hurt, I'll be right there to help him through it.
I'm currently finishing my masters degree in communication. My thesis is on the concept of community and how online communities compare to their geographic counterparts. The dads-at-home Yahoogroup is where I've focused my attentions. I hope to graduate in May.
Other interests include involved fathering, technology and techie gadgets (I was wireless for 802.11a!), language immersion education (my son attends a public magnet school where he is taught mostly in Japanese), travel, and, of course at-home dads! Oh yeah, and we're hoping to start construction on a new house this spring.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Looking forward to getting to know y'all.
Chad in Charlotte, NC