at home in chicago

[aretoo]

hello out there in cyberspace. my name is ruley and my son is ryoma. we are 27 and 20mo. we live in chicago on the south side in hyde park. my wife and i decided before ryoma was born that we wanted our son to be cared for by a parent. well that parent turned out to be me. her part time job offered her a full time poss. with benefits. an aspect that my work lacked. so when ryoma was born so was another stay at home dad. i love the time with my son but am not much of a homemaker and often miss earning a living in a conventional sense. not that raising my son full time isnt callenging or rewarding, just that i miss working out side of the home. i play in a local band and spend alot of nights out practicing and playing, but the money is far from what i used to earn and it cuts into quality time with my wife. there are a few other SAHDs in the heighborhood but for some reason this area spawns alot of new parents in thier 40s and 50s even. i guess it's the UofC. anyway there is little connection between myself ( a twenty something SAHD who plays in a reggae band and skates) and the new dads around me( late 30 to late 40 something academic types). often our views on parenting differ despite that we are all going against societal norms. i am hoping to get to know some SAHDs around my age with whom i see eye to eye. anybody up for a jam or skate session next to the sand box?

[DarthDaddy]

Welcome

I am WAY up North from you. Far NW Suburbs. CORN and COW PATTIES :lol:

I go with the two wheel kind of transport for fun.

GO BEARS!!!

[tt3]

I'm a bit north and west of you too. Ok, a few states north and west...
Welcome aboard... huh, could that be a pun?
Glad you found us!

[Jackson's Dad]

Welcome! What kind of band are you in?

[Bollux]

Welcome

[Silverback]

i love the time with my son but am not much of a homemaker and often miss earning a living in a conventional sense. not that raising my son full time isnt callenging or rewarding, just that i miss working out side of the home.

I wish I did live close enough to you hang out with you, my friend. I'm all alone in Bozeman, MT. :(

Believe me, if there is ANYBODY that understands those feelings it's us. We understand that it's all new, that you love your kid but being a SAHD is not what you expected, it's not exactly what you envisioned for yourself, etc. It's really normal to feel the way you do! And that's why you're here, isn't it? Trying to find someone who understands, and can help you make sense of it, and who can help you make the BEST of it.
Well partner, who knows how long this window of being your son's primary caregiver is going to be open. I suggest you reframe this season with the attitude that you have a unique opportunity to forge a lifelong bond with your little guy that not everybody gets. It might only last a few months or a few years but you and he can get to know each other better than a lot of fathers and sons ever do. If you grab on to it with both hands, you'll gain some powerful insights into him and what makes him tick. You'll forge a bond that will enhance your entire life together. You'll learn a TON about yourself too. I don't know a thing about reggae and I can't skateboard to save my life (well maybe) but I do know that being your kid's HERO and getting to experience his growing up are gifts too precious to miss. We are all rooting for you!! =D>

But don't have too much fun or your wife will figure out what she's missing and want to trade places with ya! :wink:

[tt3]

Wow silverback, well said. =D>