SAHD and working - results after one year

[GoatBeard]

I know I haven't been here for a long time, but it is not without reason...

As some of you may remember, I dove right in to being a SAHD and working, part-time nights, at The Home Depot.

At first, the job was just "to get around adults"...for conversation, adult interaction, etc. When I was hired on I was told, "It'll be up to 35 hours per week during our busy season, Spring and Summer, and around 20 hours per week the rest of the time." I should have gotten that in writing.

For the first 10 months I stayed at home with the youngin' from 6 AM - 5 PM THEN went to work from 5 PM - 11 PM, and worked each and every weekend for 9 hours on Sat and 9 hours on Sun. Basically, they ran me in the ground working me 38 hours per week for over 10 months.

Finally, they changed my schedule to 23 hours per week (I guess we FINALLY reached the 'slow season').

At any rate, during this time of doing double-duty, I have learned a lot. After about a month of working and doing the SAHD thing, your body learns and adjusts to the schedule. In other words, it's not all that bad.

Another great thing is that I have my own money and do not have to "share" or ask the wife for money. I am able to invest in the company and buy stock at a 15% discount -- couldn't have done that if I wouldn't have worked. I get to buy a lot of toys because my money is basically, "play money". I don't make that much, but who couldn't do with an extra $2000 per month?!?! That's a lot of playing (or saving since you don't have a lot of time to play! Heh.)

I have become very disciplined, which I would have never thought possible. I haven't missed a day of work nor have I really complained about my decision to go to work -- well, I complained for a while, I must admit it... But after I got used to what I was doing and learned that I was going to have to adjust my previous (no baby) schedule, it worked out. One of the HUGE adjustments was my having to cut down my computer time to basically 10 or 20 minutes a week -- that's what I haven't been here for a long time.

I had to make the decision whether to take a nap when the baby does or take that time and get online... Let me tell you, after a while, getting online didn't hold much water when compared to those naps. Especially when you've been up since 6 AM and working 'till 11PM every day -- THEN getting up during the night to take care of baby's needs. NAP ='s no-brainer.

I have lost quite a bit of weight. I haven't eaten any different or tried to lose it, but this intense schedule has done the body good. I feel better than ever, mentally and physically!

We are getting ready to take a new step -- "Mother's Day Out". While it doesn't bother me (anymore) to stay home with the baby AND work, the wife and I feel that the youngin' needs to get around other kids, at least to some extent. She needs to get sick to avoid lymphoma and other diseases. She needs to learn how to play with other children.

Of course, she would learn many of the things she will learn at the MDO Program, eventually. But we have come to the decision that this is the best route for us at this point in time. Heck, it's just from 8 - 12 2-days a week (to start, we may go to 3 days). We feel it's better than daycare -- at least for now, for many reasons (that I won't go into). Plus, I'll get a few hours to do whatever I want! WHOOT!

The point to this rambling is to any of you who are considering working nights/weekends AND doing the SAHD thing -- it IS possible and it WON'T kill you. It takes some adjustments and some sacrifices, but it's well worth it -- on SO many levels.

[Weston]

Great post! Welcome back!

[longtimesahd]

Ignore me if this is too personal, but is there any time left for your marriage? How's that going with that schedule?

[GoatBeard]

There is time left for the marriage...

As a matter of fact, I'd say our marriage is better than ever. The 2 nights during the week that I have off are our nights to play. We talk on the phone a lot these days. I'd say that as a whole, we actually talk more now than we did before. We share baby stories and strategies we flirt a lot more and the times that we do get alone are extra special.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want to do this forever -- but after getting used to the schedule, it's really great.

Oh, and the other thing I had to change that I forgot to mention above was my attitude. When I looked at what I was doing from a negative perspective, it was awful. When I started getting used to the schedule and decided that it could be a good thing (but only with the right attitude about it), everything started falling into place and I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have to pull double-duty -- I guess I'd be bored to death...

I'm tellin' y'all -- it's a real life changer all for the good.

This year I have decided to use all of my "extra money" to get us totally out of debt (snowball the debt -- I know some of you will get that reference). :wink:

[Indy]

This year I have decided to use all of my "extra money" to get us totally out of debt (snowball the debt -- I know some of you will get that reference). :wink:

I'm with you there. If all goes as planned, we'll be down to just the mortgage this year. If I can squeeze a few more years out of both the vehicles, we'll be in real good shape. I'll be really happy to get away from those stupid credit cards. They've had me on the hook for long enough.

[Jackson's Dad]

Back in my "wild" days, I ran up a ton of debt: student loans, credit card, etc. The day that I finally paid all of those off was a glorious one indeed!

[GoatBeard]

They keep trying to get me to push credit cards on people at work. I told them, "credit cards are unethical, immoral and moreover, against my religion" Their reply was, "But it is part of your job description." Of course, no where in any paper or document I ever saw and/or signed said anything about credit applications... It was never in my job description and I personally get nothing from it but the knowledge that I have perhaps just sent someone down the credit card path to ruination... :???:

I left them with this thought, "If this company has a problem with my standing on pushing credit cards on people, they can speak with my lawyer."

They don't bother me about it anymore, but they sure don't like it one bit.

So I agree -- credit cards can ruin someone's life. I don't want to be responsible for the damage.

I hate frivolous lawsuits and backed up court systems, but secretly, I wish they would push it to the point where I could take them to court and destroy them. :twisted:

[tulsadad]

Way to stand your ground on the cc issue! I know first hand the damage that they can create.

[RefDad]

Goat - I did about what you're doing for the first year of SAHD duty. I contracted back to my company and worked two side gigs late into each night. Got up at 6am with the boy every day. For a solid year I slept about four hours per night and tried to nap a bit during the day. In the beginning we just couldn't afford to have no income from me.

I acted like a martyr in the beginning, but as the kid slept better and better I began to feel like I had made the right decision. Enough sleep tends to bring reality back into one's life.

[stretch]

Little tip on credit cards. Get one with no annual fee and use it as an everyday cash replacement, paying off the balance in full every month. That way, you actually cost the bank money. Which is fun.*

*May violate the "lead us not into temptation" clause, of course.

[Jackson's Dad]

Goat -- good going!

Stretch -- and that gives you a great credit score, for future loans. The thing to watch for is that they hate people with good credit. So the better you are about paying your credit card every month, the higher they push your rates, and the more they penalise you on tiny infractions (such as being late one day). What a pain those people are.

But, as a small business owner, I rely on credit cards for people to pay me. So, what can you do.

[Greenskeeper]

Another CC tip to practice-

We have an airline linked CC and I use it for almost everything (Food, Cell phone bills, Gas, etc.. ) and we have always paid it off each month. In doing that we have earned many free trips that have saved us a bunch for family vacations.