Doctor with CONTROL issues

[DarthDaddy]

OK this is NOT funny, but happened the last couple weeks with a friend of my wifes. We will call her "B"

Ok B has two little boys and the youngest still breast feeeding and not that old is a bit "TINY" He is not on any of the charts, but eats well and is healthy. The family is upper middle class and they take very good care of themselves and their children. Both mom and dad are "TINY" as well. "B" is a little more then 5' and Mr. "B" is no more the 5' 6" and both are pretty slim.

Well about a month ago the Doctor said the baby was not "Thriving" and needed to be watched more closly on the weight. No Problems there. So they scheduled another appointment for one week later to see if he gains. Well he DID. the Doctor then said if she does not do "this, that and the other thing" the baby would be in the hospital and basically "Suggested" she was doing a bad job with the child. Now this is her second so she just shrugged it off. After the next "Weekly" appointment the Doctor said she should bring the baby back EVERYWEEK even though he was gaining. The Doctor seemed to think the baby was still not thriving and needed to be weighed EVERY WEEK. "B" questioned the need for an EVERYWEEK appointment for a HEALTHY child that was just not very big and tiny like her. The Doctor then went on a rant and said if she did not bring the baby in EVERYWEEK she would contact DCFS and have them investigate her as an UNFIT MOTHER. This was too much and she decide that the best thing would be to leave the practice and find a new Doctor. She called the practice our kids are in, spoke to a doctor for a second opinion and the Doctor said just bring him in for his next monthly appointment in a few weeks. She scheduled an appointment, called her OLD Doctors office, cancelled the appointment and had the RECORDS set to the new Doctor. Over...Not at all.

Her old doc called DCFS when she did not come for her cancelled appointment and DCFS was at her door Friday night. She had to go to the ER right then or they would get the police and an order and force her. Of course "BABY" is fine. She then had to go back to the old doc office yesterday for a follow up - of course still fine. She saw a different doc in the old office and he said her switching to another office is fine and he would think monthly, not weekly, checks would be fine too. The DCFS person said all of course looked good too as did the ER doc.


WTF!!!! Who does this DOCTOR think SHE is!!! You leave the practice and they CALL DCFS. She will now ALSO have an ER visit to pay for which is covered by insurance, all but $50.00. So now she is paying an additional $50.00 because of a CONTROL FREAK.

She did call a lawyer (AFTER) - unfortunately too much money and no results would be the end so he recommended against doing anything legally but she does plan to report her at least to the AMA

OK What would you do. I told my wife if someone from DCFS showed up at my door FRIDAY night demanding an ER visit or she would get the police. I would tell her fine, GET THE POLICE!!! and a WARRENT!!!! then be on the phone with my Attorney. My wife would have gone to full B*T*H mode and ripped anyone that came to the door a new few holes.

I would also NOT SET FOOT in the OLD office and DEMAND COMPENSATION for the ER visit forced upon me. (Granted I would Not Have GONE, but still)


I am still MAD!!!!

:evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

[SGTDad]

Wow, that's scary! I'm glad reason prevailed.

I'd definitely follow up with the AMA and any other organizations she's in. I'd also look at small-claims court for the $50. They might not win, but at least it's worth a shot.

Very scary indeed!

[Bollux]

I would be too. Just because one doctor is on a powertrip while the other says everything is fine does nto give ANYONE the right to do that. I most certainly would have forced them to call the police, then in turn called the new doctor and a lawyer to get that all straightened. Yes we should be concerned about a childs health and safety but if another doctor gave the child clearance and is doing good, who cares what the other doctor said or who they called. I would have laughed if the DCFS tried to come into my home and then in turn knocked the ever living $hit out of them if they entered my house and called it defense of someone entering my home unwanted. The doctor apparently just wanted to keep charging insurance for visits and thats just down right wrong. If one doctor gave the ok and the other one wanted weekly visits, there is obviously something wrong there. I would have walked down to the doctors office and had a nice conversation with her. It most certainly would have been using colorful metaphors at an increased volume infront of everyone. The nerve of the doctor.

[Jackson's Dad]

I agree. First, when the doctor started getting all "he's not thriving" when the mother *knows* he is, that's when I would've left. I HATE doctors who ignore common sense.

But if child services showed up? I'd inform them that the person who called is not their doctor, is making a prank call, and they can call the child's real doctor if they want to check. I'm pretty sure child services wouldn't be happy with a doctor making prank calls.

Argh.

[DaddyO]

Let's just say I've heard horror stories about DCFS. Horror stories.

[floridamcmarion1]

Bear in mind that my reaction is based on having been a foster parent for a number of years, so I know how the system works.

I would have, as politely as I was capable, informed the investigator of the history with that doctor. If she was still insistant I would have gone to the ER and done what she said. First thing the next morning I would have been on the phone with my attorney as well as getting my child into another doctor for a full physical including lab work so I had proof of his good health as of that date.

DCFS workers, judges, police, doctors, foster parents, and pretty much anyone else who has been involved in the system for very long tend to figure that someone who reacts with an attitude and anger has something to hide. People who jump through the hoops as ordered tend to be treated much fairer. It's not right, but it is reality.

Had your friend forced the issue to cause the police to be called it would not have been pretty. The child would have been taken into DCFS custody as an emercency shelter situation. Your friends would have had to go to court the next day so a judge could rule on whether or not to place the child in foster care while they worked a case plan. In the meantime their child would have been placed in a foster home at least overnight. Bear in mind that when the police took the child to the ER the doctor would be basing his exam on the fact that a cop is telling him about the screaming crazed couple they just took the kid from. He would have no way of knowing that the parents are so tiny if they aren't there. The judge would then be basing his judgement on that doctor's report as well as the medical records from the quack who started the problem to begin with.

Bottom line is to play nice with DCFS. They do not react kindly or justly when they are met with attitude, justified or not. If you don't want your kid taken then play by their rules. If you play nice the truth will usually win out quickly. However, do make sure you get your own lawyer very quickly.

I not only speak from the side of a foster parent, but we were accused of medical neglect of one of our foster children. We had to provide medical records and allow a full investigation of ourselves. The accusation came from the black drug counselor of the biological mother who didn't like the fact that white foster parents were taking care of a black child. Believe me, I know what it feels like to go through the investigation caused by a completely false allegation from a so-called professional. We were cleared fairly quickly and the allegation was found to have no basis in fact, but that didn't make us any less ticked off.

[SGTDad]

Wow, that is some really great advice marion! It sounds DCFS starts with the assumption there is a problem, and if you do anything that reinforces that assumption, then you're just screwing yourself (and your kid). That's really valuable to know if a situation ever comes up.

[floridamcmarion1]

It sounds DCFS starts with the assumption there is a problem, and if you do anything that reinforces that assumption, then you're just screwing yourself (and your kid).

That really sums it up.

Remember, DCFS gets involved once there has been a call from someone about abuse or neglect. They take calls from doctors and similar professionals very seriously. The actual person who comes to your door is only trying to find out whether or not the allegation called in was true or not. Their intention is not to harrass you, but rather to make sure your child is not in danger. They do tend to be rather cynical, but consider for a moment the levels of abuse they have seen. Consider the things they have seen people do to their own children. Also consider that, in the case mentioned above, the investigator had a call from a medical professional (the investigator had no way of knowing the doctor was a quack) that a child was suffering from failure to thrive. I've seen a child who really did suffer from that, and he was very close to death. That investigator was wanting to make sure that the child was not really that sick, or to get him medical help if he was. Unless they have a medical degree the only way to make sure of that is by going to the ER.

I have a son who was taken from his biological parents only after the 9th call to the state abuse hotline. Up until he was removed he and his two sisters endured some of the most heinous abuse and neglect you could imagine. I would much prefer if DCFS erred on the side of child safety than to let another child go through what my son and his sisters did for as long as they did. One of the more minor calls was from his doctor who reported that he, at just over a year old, had a broken arm. This doctor remembered that both of is older sisters had the same thing happen to them at roughly the same ages. This was one of the most minor accusations against my sons bio parents. He was right about 6 years old when he was finally removed. His sisters were 9 and 11. Again, I am OK with some innocent parents being inconvenienced if that reaction by DCFS will save even one child from what my son went through.

I'm certainly not trying to say that the system is fair, because it certainly is broken to pieces (especially here in Florida), but for the most part the investigators and caseworkers hearts are completely in trying to protect children. In the case Darth-Daddy mentioned the quack doctor is definately at fault, but I personally agree with how the investigator handled it. The investigator was basing things on a doctor's report about a medical condition that can be deadly very quickly. He can't be expected to take the parent's word that everything is OK. It is his responsibility to make sure the child is OK, and the only way to do that in this case was for the child to go to the ER. If the child really was suffering from failure to thrive it could have been dead by Monday.

As you can tell, this is an issue very close to my heart. Once you have taken care of foster kids, and seen what humans are capable of doing to their own children, the mere thought of child abuse and neglect gets you crazy.

[DarthDaddy]

Marion

Your perspective on the situation is enlightening to say the least. I have NEVER had to deal with any side of the DCFS issue personally. Since you collect children and have been through it from many angles I bow to your wisdom.

I am still ANGRY and hope our friend can have some peace and peace of mind and the Quack DR gets hers in the end.

[floridamcmarion1]

I am still ANGRY and hope our friend can have some peace and peace of mind and the Quack DR gets hers in the end.

You should still be angry. That doctor is an idiot. I know I'm still angry at the woman who made her accusation against us, and that's been a couple of years now.

[Bollux]

Prior to posting about my sons lack of eating I used to worry about the sort of thing happening to me. The doctor always said if he fell lower than what he was at then actions would have to be taken.

[Jackson's Dad]

Remember, DCFS gets involved once there has been a call from someone about abuse or neglect. They take calls from doctors and similar professionals very seriously. .

Hm, I guess this is why I would switch doctors the second I started getting a strange vibe from him or her.

Crazy stuff.