I'm on the verge...hard to take the first step toward SAHD

[Anonymous]

Hey, my name is JC. We have a ten year old daugther. Recently, the stress of us both working full time and caring for our child and the thousand other things like school, sports, scouts, dogs, yard, etc., has added alot of stress to our marriage. We've been married a long time and have mastered the communication thing, but I am still finding it difficult to bring it up. My wife is a physician, and although I am a professional, her earnings are far superior to mine. Her job has dictated from day one that I am the one who is the primary caregiver. The stress of the last ten years has weighed heavily on me at home and on the job. I've always made it known to my employer that I may be late to work some mornings and have to leave early on other days. It has not been easy. I don't want to bore any of you anymore since I am preaching to the choir, but how did you take that first step toward SAHD status?

PS: I realize that most of you have smaller children, but as the child ages the demands do not go away, they change as well. [/url][/quote]

[SAHF]

I don't want to bore any of you anymore since I am preaching to the choir, but how did you take that first step toward SAHD status?

Hey JC.

The first step is ALWAYS the hardest in anything you do in life. When I took the first step, it was my wife that suggested in a couple of years before I did it.

Her thoughts were as follows:

1. Who is raising our kids....daycare.
2. Can we survive on 1 paycheck.....yes.
3. Are we having to take off of work for things like, school, doc visits, soccer practices, etc......yes.
4. Do you like your job.....no.

Done deal. I made the jump just about 9-10 months ago and never looked back! You have to way the good and bads. Make yourself a pro and cons list.

Playing games would be a pro...BUT not on the list you show her! :wink:

Hope that helps!

[Don-Dad]

Like all major life decisions, you have to weigh all sides of the issue. in this case, its seems like a no brainer, stress is not good, raising your child, although stressful, is by far the wisest decision you can make. You will be there for them before and after school, doctors appointments, sports activities, no more working your schedule around your works schedule, the list goes on and on. Since money is not an issue in your case, Why not go for it? It will take some adjustment. But this might be a good time to start doing something you have always wanted to, besides raising your child.

And to answer your question about the first step, it was easy, we did not want a daycare raising our some and my wife made lots more than I did and we could afford to live on her income. I am comfortable with my role as the stay at home parent but there are days it is very hard but to see my children grow is by far the best thing I have or will ever do.

[Anonymous]

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light?...Become your child's light and shine!

[Remington]

Looks like some good advice was given. I was a little reluctant to take that leap. But what was I really afraid of? The 2 major things that held me back at first was A. Pride and B. Loss of Career.

OK take Pride. Now that is selfish. I felt silly thinking I would be a mom and what would others think? This was the major one for me.

Now take Loss of Career. I didn't like the idea that I was giving up a career.

Now, I look at where I am 1 year later. I have several online sites that make money. Not enough to live on but hopefully they will pick up shortly, I have 3 kids (soon to be 4) that I play with, train, teach, etc..

I love staying home. I take the kids places and I don't have to answer to anybody but myself. I take them hiking, swimming, playground, library, grammies, etc...

It is tough work because there is no break but you can choose how to deal with things, where to go, what activities to play, etc

And it is a great investment in your own kids. Why invest in somebody else's business when you can invest in your own family?

Take the leap man.... it is so worth it.

[Anonymous]

Hey guys,

Thanks for the replies. After I posted my question, I called my wife and told her we had to talk. She was all for it...but she has always been supportive of me as I am her. I think the kicker was the quality time I'll be able to provide once school starts again. Between homework and sports, the time crunch is incredible. She had been going to an after school care program at her Catholic school, but homework was never quite done because of the distraction of play (which is understandable). When I'd pick her up, I would have to rush her to practice, get dinner (usually fast food) and then tackle homework in the evening.

I can't wait to start....my little girl means everything to me. I should have done this sooner! Thanks for the support...

JC

[mjknapp]

I think sahf gave a pretty good picture of our decision to, We are fortunate enough to have a large sum of money come into our family that also helped, but we asked ourselves the same questions, and in both of our opinions, ther is noone in this world that can raise our kids better than us. She stayed home for the first three months, then I took over, I am going to be a sahd for as long as she wants to work, but as soon as she decides she wants to come home, I am going to go out into the workforce. We talked about it the other day, and she said that once our oldest daughter starts school, she might try staying at home for a while. And I also would like to go back to work in the future sometime, but who knows what the future holds.

[Jackson's Dad]

Congrats JC. It's good to have the full-family support to do this. That will go a long way to making it a success.

Why invest in somebody else's business when you can invest in your own family?

You know, this is the same argument I gave myself when I decided to start my own business. I was tired of devoting 40-60 hours a week of my life to helping someone else realize their dream (not mine). The plus was that when we decided to start our family, I was already setting up my own business and working from home, which made the whole career decision an easier one.

(Off topic here, but) Rem, you mentioned that you run several sites. What are they? My biz is also web-based, and likewise, I am starting to make some money off it (not a ton, but enough to "prove the concept"). Good to know that there are others out here doing the same.

Dan

[Don-Dad]

Dan,

I work online marketing web based retailers goods and services. I might be able to get you some traffic. I'm helping our Rem and maybe I could help you. PM for details.

[Remington]

Don is the man. Give him a call he will hook ya up.

My sites are www.mainehuntingtoday.com , www.outdoorwebhosting.com , and www.withchrist.com

I have some other domains I am doing nothing with but these are the 3 major ones. Maine Hunting Today is approaching its 1 year anniversary on September 2nd. It gets an average of 1600 hits per day. So Don got me interested in affiliate marketing. I also do web hosting for real affordable prices. Most places burn a hole in the wallet and I try to run a good solid honest business there.

With Christ. I am a Christian and I have an online community with roughly 140 members and growing. It is approaching 8 months.

I was doing web design but stopped. It doesn't bring in enough money to focus on it.

[Jackson's Dad]

Cool stuff. My sites are in my signature. The sroka.net is for my photography -- I am a fine art photographer, and this site supports the work that I have hanging in the gallery. The other site is www.modernketubah.com, where I sell a very specific product, called a ketubah. This is a Jewish wedding contract, which are works of art that hang in the home as a daily reminder of your wedding vows. This lets me combine my photography with my design skills (i've been a designer and webdesigner for a long time).

I've been toying with doing some of the webhosting as well, since I've invested so much energy in figuring it all out for my own site. But right now, I don't need the extra headaches of such a service-focused business.

By the way, you might find my Dad's website interesting: http://www.seescapes.com/