No more sneaking

[SGTDad]

Well, my oldest is a 27 month old girl, and I think my wife and I learned a lesson yesterday.

The MIL was visiting for the weekend (and left this morning), so the wife and I decided to go on a date and see V for Vendetta (first alone time for us since December). My daughter is a shy, clingy type, and she is smart enough now to know when something is going on. When I said to my wife, "hon, are you about ready?" my daughter knew we were about to leave and she started clinging to me. Well, she got temporarily distracted by the TV, and my wife and I made a clean getaway and really enjoyed the movie.

However, it turns out when she found out we were gone, she threw a fit that lasted over an hour. Her screaming got the little one (1 yo) going too. We "snuck out" to avoid the scene she causes when she sees us leave her. Typically in the past, she wouldn't even know we were gone and go about her business, but it seems that's not working anymore. I guess we'll have to suck it up and keep telling her (like we always do anyway), that we'll be back soon, etc.

I'm sure others have run into this issue and would be interested to see how you guys deal with it.

[floridamcmarion1]

We have always just done kisses goodbye, said when we'll be back, and we're out the door. We never ran into much crying with that method, and if any of them did cry it didn't last for long. Very early on they learn that a tantrum won't help and that you'll be back soon. We wouldn't stop for extra hugs and soothing if they threw a tantrum. That would actually mean they didn't even get their kiss goodbye. It also helps if you have frequent times that you leave them somewhere. Our baby is almost 20 months and has been going to our church nursery since she was about 3 months old. When I drop her off she runs straight for the toys and doesn't even look back.

[mnsahd]

My wife and I created a ritual very early with our daughter for any sort of good byes. Nap time, bed time, we leave, she leaves...it has always been the same for two years (she is 3 now). Hugs. Kisses. Touch one eye then the other. Touch the nose. Shake one hand "Pleased to meet you." Shake the other hand "Pleased to meet you." Thats our goodbye for everything. She knows that she will be apart from us for whatever reason and this has helped ALOT. :wink:

[SGTDad]

Those are very helpful, thanks!

Some of the problem is that there aren't many times where she isn't with one of us, so there aren't a lot of goodbyes. She's in a kids-day-out program one day a week and I usually have to peel her off my leg in order to leave. Of course she's fine within 10 minutes, but it does suck going through the tantrum every time.

We'll try to get a ritual going and go on more dates.

[tt3]

Going to the Y has helped with that too. We say our short goodbyes and walk out.
Good luck.

[Bollux]

what is this going places without our child? I have never done it before. =p

[woodchuck]

What's worked for me whle at home is a favorite distraction in the backround( sesame street,elmo, leapfrog) then saying daddy has to go potty, it's short term, close by and consistent due to daily happening. There are daily situations here that require a few minute duck out of the room moments, bathroom different floor, wood furnace in basement, hang the laundry out on the line, these little sessions have paid off big time when there are longer term disappearences, but a hug and kiss see you later good bye routine is always a good idea, first day of school is just around the corner for many of us sahd's and both parties will benefit from a good goodbye/hello routine.

[Jackson's Dad]

Our kid used to be great when we left him with the grandparents. Then one day, he didn't want to do it anymore. Sigh. We keep doing it anyway, figuring he'll eventually snap back out of it. Like everything, they go through phases.

[vertygo]

We chose V for Vendetta for our date as well, paid extra for the IMAX screen.. great movie, didn't think it needed the extra $ for that kind of screen.

Aiden (2.5) had a small fit, but our friend set him up with his favourite movie, some paints, and he was good to go. We've also gotten into a routine that if it's more than 2 hours, we call him for a brief conversation and let him know we'll be back soon.. thinking of him.. etc. Seems to work, but some kids might do better not realizing their parents are gone till they get back.

[keith021773]

This has happened only a very few times with my 3 kids. Of course when we do leave them they stay with either their nana (which they see almost everyday) or their aunt (which they see almost everyday). And of course both of them give the kids whatever they want, maybe that is why they don't cry and actually want to go. :)