Daughter likes me more than mom.. and mom's getting p*ssed!

[mightymike]

Okay - in the beginning.....

so my wife had a C section and then some complications after she gave birth from my daughter, which left her immobile and her mom and I to look after our daughter for a while.

Fast forward to NOW....

I have always seemed to have a close connection with my daughter (now 15 mo old) and now it seems more than ever that she wants ME to pick her up all the time and even turns away from mom or doesn't want to have any thing to do with mom when my wife interacts with her. I know this is breaking my wife's heart and I don't want it to become a bigger issue than it already is. Furthermore, with me starting to stay home with her, I can't help but think that this will cause a greater strain in the future. Any advice or similar situations out there? :(

[sao95]

my take is it's part of the age and who she interacts with most, it'll go back and forth, mom then you as the years progress. The tricky part is remembering not to let it hurt your feelings when she prefers mom :wink:

[Bollux]

my gf says the same thing but in actuality its pretty even as far as who he runs to. At first it was a little more favoritism but it has leveled out. It shouldn't cause too much strain as if things work like mine did it will end up being 50/50. I know I gave my son his "mommy time" as theyw ent to classes on the weekend while I stayed out to ensure he had alone time with her. Maybe try that for a while, encourage a playdate with your wife and daughter while you stay out. Seemed to work on my end.

[jeffus]

Oh yeah...this is temporary. All this child-rearing business is very temporary.

For all the fun we have here, at 4 & 1/2yrs, I get dropped like a bad habit as soon as mommy comes home. Kid used to ignore the wifey when she came home. Now she wakes-up early to spend a few moments with the wife in the bathroom before work.

At 15 months, you can't take anything personally. Heck, probably up to 14 years, you can't take anything personally.

Don't beat yourselves up over this! :D

[Math Daddy]

Oh yeah...this is temporary. All this child-rearing business is very temporary.

For all the fun we have here, at 4 & 1/2yrs, I get dropped like a bad habit as soon as mommy comes home. Kid used to ignore the wifey when she came home. Now she wakes-up early to spend a few moments with the wife in the bathroom before work.

At 15 months, you can't take anything personally. Heck, probably up to 14 years, you can't take anything personally.

Don't beat yourselves up over this! :D

Actually, in between the ages of 11 and 18, you can't take anything personally. :lol: I know many people who hate teenagers and teenage years, but I love working with them. It's the best time to deal with kids, in my opinion. I think teens are so much fun...especially when they try to engage in a battle of wits when they're unarmed. :wink:

[jeffus]

Okie-dokey, make it 18 years..... :D

Almost 5 down, 13 to go! :lol:

So, when she's 11, I can start on the "You Don't Know Jack!" diatribes? :wink:

[mightymike]

thanks everyone! I appreciate the feedback.

[Weston]

Oh yeah... happened to us too. Now he's about 2 and seems to be wanting his mommy more than his dad.

I agree that this will go back and forth between the two parents.

[Math Daddy]

Okie-dokey, make it 18 years..... :D

Almost 5 down, 13 to go! :lol:

So, when she's 11, I can start on the "You Don't Know Jack!" diatribes? :wink:

Absolutely. I'd recommend making a sign with "YDKJ" printed on it; then, whenever she goes off on you, hold it up!

[jeffus]

Cool! :D

I'll get started on it ....8)

[chopperglide]

what is weird for me is that my girls both attache to me like crazy and so does the boy, but when mom is around the boy is all about mommy. i don't take offense, i need the break by then but i just thought that is some food for thought

[Hockeyfan]

Same problem here. Well not so much of a problem for me. My son Blake is 15 months and barely flinches when my wife comes home. He pays little attention to her and doesn't give much affection. Mostly to me. But hey we are with them 90 percent of the time, so what are they supposed to do. Doesn't make my wife feel any better. I used to like it, but now I feel bad. I'm sure it will change though. Good luck!

[woodchuck]

There will be periods of parent switching, for sure.

[Tim E]

Same problem here. Well not so much of a problem for me. My son Blake is 15 months and barely flinches when my wife comes home. He pays little attention to her and doesn't give much affection.

At the dad's convention, the keynote Dr Klyle Pruett (Yale child psychiatrist, researcher, author, etc) talked about this. In short, this will change when the kids hit the independent "I do it" phase - then mom is where it's at. They see Mom getting up, loading up her toys and snacks in her bag then hopping in the car to head out into the world. She comes home, dad's looking after her, she gets fed, everybody gets some love, its all good - now that's the gig, Mom's now the girl!!!! That's who the independant toddler wants to worship not some guy who stays home all day doing dishes and laundry...... So enjoy it while you can, the day's a coming.

Incidentally, the same is true if you reverse the roles of mom and dad. And of course, there will be exceptions to the rule.

Tim