Obedience while at the park (and while walking)

[Hockeyfan]

My 15 month old boy is very independant. He walks off at the park constantly and it drives me crazy. ITs not so bad when he walks up to attractive woman, but he will leave the park areas and keep on walking. He loves to follow other peope and all that too. I can go and get him, tell him "no" or whatever, but as soon as I bring him back to the area I want him to play in, he walks back again. He will keep doing this relentlessly. Its killing me. Is this normal for his age or is he a different kind of cat. Outgoing and all that.

I would also like to be able to walk with him at the mall or other place where he would walk along side of me. If he doesn't want to go he pulls the Hippy move and lays on the ground motionless using passive resistence. Its kinda funny actually. Buy anyway... I would love to be able to walk with him without him wandering/running and laughing as he flees. He will look back and laugh as he is running away when I am calling him. Probably just how I was as a kid. Great.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I am contemplating using one of those harness things (the ones I thought looked cruel). Anyone have an experience with those or opinions on them things. The ones like they use on dogs with the retractable leash.

[DaddyO]

It's partly the age. But, don't laugh when he runs away. He'll think it's a game. We did use a leash once or twice on our oldest. That was more when we had to navigate dense crowds of people and didn't want to carry him the whole time. Even still it seemed a bit like overkill. The best thing I can think of is to try and tire him out or find a more contained/interesting area to play.

[CTDon]

my first response about him walking out of the park area is "So what?". Unless he's going to the parking lot or a road, of course.

But if he's going to an open field or bunch of flowers or to a stream, I don't see anything wrong with that at all. A) I guarentee you that he'll show you things you never would have picked up on and B) he'll stay happy and and entertained.

Just the other day my son and I watched a catepillar for 20minutes. Yeah, i was bored to tears after 5min, but he was fascinated. Keeping him entertained is my #1 goal throughout the day. Throw in some education and you've got yourself a successful day. It's a good time to talk about colors, textures, how to be nice to creatures, etc.

We go to this one park that has a brook next to it. We'll be there for over 2 hours, but only about half an hour is playing on the playground. We throw rocks in the water, wash our hands in it, look for worms, etc.

Like I said, unless he's going to endager himself, just roll with it. The one time I ever spanked my son was when he thought it was funny to run out into a parking lot. Fortunately we were in a fairly empty one, but it scared the friggin bejesus out of me. We had always made him hold our hands, but he just bolted without warning. Now we make sure to hold on tight. So unless he's pulling one of those, just enjoy the time you're spending with him. That and think of the alternative: You could be stuck in a cubicle instead. Not so bad, eh? :D

Now as far as at the mall goes, I agree with DaddyO, don't make a game out of it. And if he won't stay, then he doesn't want to be there. Move on. My kid does that too. I'll get him and bring him back to the play area twice. If he bolts after that, we put his shoes on and do something else in the mall.

Good luck and have a great weekend!!!

[Hockeyfan]

Thanks for the advice. CTDon - I think your right. I guess I should look at is as not that he is being disobedient, but curious. And I don't want to go back to my cube. Ahhh.

Not sure if that was a Jim Rome quote from his radio show, but it sounded like it...see below.

"scared the friggin bejesus out of me"

Have a great weekend too.

[Weston]

Oh yeah, mine is always walking off at the park and other places... Like CT said, it's just curiousity and as long as he's not getting into a dangeroous situation, then have fun with it. :)

[Jackson's Dad]

Is this normal for his age or is he a different kind of cat.

Yes. We try to pick playgrounds with nothing dangerous nearby. We have one that is in the middle of a park, so if he wanders a bit, there's no parking lots. If he does wander towards a parking lot, it's pick-up time, no alternative, no matter how much he screams. He learned pretty quickly that parking lots mean the fun stops. (Not that he doesn't try still, but he's not as shocked when we then stop him!)

I would also like to be able to walk with him at the mall or other place where he would walk along side of me. If he doesn't want to go he pulls the Hippy move and lays on the ground motionless using passive resistence.

When we took Jack to the mall, we'd always use a stroller until he learned to hold our hand, or not stray to far. Now he's gotten good with actually grabbing our hand when he wants to explore, bringing us with him.

[SGTDad]

I have a 14 month old boy and he's the same way. My daughter was like that as well.

I just let him do what he wants as long as it isn't dangerous. I can usually get him to come to me if I call his name, smile and open my arms. He'll usually trott right back for a hug. I try to make it a game so he'll come to me. Usually that works, but I can also try to get him to chase me - he loves to do that.

For the most part he's pretty good about walking with me while holding my finger. If he let's go to check something out, I'll walk with him and tell him what it is. If I'm in a hurry and need to get somewhere, though, I dispense with walking altogether and just pick him up and carry him the whole way. That way I don't have to deal with tantrums if he's not walking as fast as I need.

[LooneyToonDad]

Yeah, i was bored to tears after 5min, but he was fascinated. Keeping him entertained is my #1 goal throughout the day.

This is something I'm trying to learn with my 14 month old. He wants to stop and look at every dandelion or walk up neighbors front walks (townhouse community). I'm trying to be more loose about it, but at the same time, he's kind of a clutz and for some reason I'm way overprotective. Oh well, something else to work on.

Good topic, glad Hockeyfan brought it up.

[Indy]

My brother had that habit and was always taking off. One day we were walking a trail at a state park and he took off ahead of us (he was three of four). My dad's solution was to have us hide behind a clump of trees. My brother got to the top of the hill, looked back, and thought we'd disappeared.

He came charging back down that path, tears running down his face. He truly thought he was alone in the woods. After about three minutes, dad stepped out from behind the trees and explained to him that was why he couldn't run off like that. I don't think we had a problem after that.

[silviomossa]

Yeah, i was bored to tears after 5min, but he was fascinated. Keeping him entertained is my #1 goal throughout the day.

This is something I'm trying to learn with my 14 month old. He wants to stop and look at every dandelion or walk up neighbors front walks (townhouse community).

My philosophy is and was: What the heck do I want to lead her (and now him) to that is *so* important? Is it *really* important that she gets to the slides by 1:15, or whatever the destination is?

I learned to relax, follow their lead, and the blood pressure (and life outlook) has been down ever since. :)

[Jackson's Dad]

It's all a matter of degrees. We try to make sure Jack understands that there are two kinds of time -- one where he can do what he wants, and one where he has to do what we say. Even if our rule is arbitrary (gotta get to the swings by 1:15), if we say it's so, it's so. Sometimes we catch ourselves asking him to follow our lead when we don't care, but we try to stick by our own rules so that he gets the hang of them. Same thing if we are letting him run free but would rather get home.

[Tireddad]

Indy had my approach.

We kind of discovered the same idea by accident and then used it with all the other kids. Worked great with all our kids until one turned out to be smarter than we were. He just never bought it. Take advantage of a safe place and be out of sight when they turn around laughing. I think our mistake with the youngest was that my wife was afraid we would traumatize him and stepped out immediatly from our spot. He then just figured we were always around the corner.

[Hockeyfan]

I think that sounds like a nice way to teach a lesson. Thanks for all your input.

[Jackson's Dad]

my wife was afraid we would traumatize him...

I think we'll all traumatize our kids somehow, now matter what we do! There's a great Kids in the Hall skit, where a teenager is rebelling against his Dad because his Dad is too cool, and his friends like him too much.

"Hey kids, if you want some beer they're in the fridge"
"Awww DAD! You're embarrassing me!!"

[SGTDad]

my wife was afraid we would traumatize him...

I think we'll all traumatize our kids somehow, now matter what we do! There's a great Kids in the Hall skit, where a teenager is rebelling against his Dad because his Dad is too cool, and his friends like him too much.

"Hey kids, if you want some beer they're in the fridge"
"Awww DAD! You're embarrassing me!!"

Trauma is part of growing up and life, in my opinion. If you don't prepare your kids to deal with real-life stuff then they won't be able to cope on their own. This isn't to say we should beat our kids to "toughen them up," but I think we have to teach them about consequences for decisions and actions.

[CTdadof3]

my first response about him walking out of the park area is "So what?". Unless he's going to the parking lot or a road, of course.


I'm with CTDon. As long as there are no safety issues, let him wander. Or better yet, wander with him. He is young, and will come to understand the limits you set on where he can go.

When I am at the park with the twins (2.5yo), I can't expect them to want to play in the same areas the entire time. So they wander. But they know how far they can go. One rule we have is they need to always be able to see daddy. They know what I expect, and follow the rules (mostly....)

Of course, my head is always on a swivel, and if things get to hectic, or the park gets too crowded, I round them up for some time on the swings. That always works.