Need to vent a little...

[kidswriter71]

Monday my Dad drove two hours and brought us a riding lawnmower. Since we lived in the city for three years without much of a yard, we didn't have a need for anything but a small push mower. Now, with 4 acres, we have quite a bit of lawn to mow.

Anyway, my Dad has become a kindhearted fellow and he has been doing a lot of little things to help us get back on our feet. So he buys this used riding mower. It's an older mower, but still in pretty good shape. But it needs a little TLC.

Monday afternoon I was mowing the grass, which hadn't been mowed in nearly a month, taking it slow. About 3/4 of the way through getting the lawn mowed, the mower deck started making a grinding noise and shooting sparks out the side. The pulley/tensioner on the right side was worn out and finally gave up the ghost. After inspecting it closely, it looks like the left side was replaced at some point but the right was not.

Not a big deal. I look up on the web and find that the parts will cost about $35. Meanwhile, my Mom e-mails me and says Dad wants to know how the mowing was going. I didn't want to tell her what had happened because I figured my Dad would feel obligated to want to fix it. I avoided her question for two days and finally tonight she e-mails "Dad figures something happened to the mower because you avoided the subject". Damn!

So I told her what happened and assured them it was no biggie, that we really appreciated the mower and that it wouldn't take much to fix it. Well, come to find out, my Dad's real reaction was his classic one from when I was a kid: I must have been going too fast or doing something that made it break.

Ugh! I hate that reaction... I was mowing for two hours, which was part of what wore me out the past couple of days... I didn't do anything reckless to hurt the mower... Maybe 10 years ago I would have, but these days I take life slow and easy...

Sorry. I had to get that out... It actually stresses me out when he pulls this sort of thing. Love the guy, but I wish he'd stop it with the guilt trip crap...

[Don-Dad]

:lol: I used to get thos lectures form my Dad abotu mowing the grass to fast on the rider. I have a rider now and sometimes I put the pedal to the floor and just smile :D

[benj]

I like your style Don...

Mr. Don, well done. You've raised an independent, free spirited son. I hope the family tradition continues.

[kidswriter71]

Louis: you got it!

Don & Benj: I haven't lived anywhere near my Dad for over six years and haven't asked for his help, though I do appreciate his generosity. If I had bought the mower I wouldn't feel like this. Normally I am free-spirited and independent...

[Remington]

First off, that is awesome your father bought you a mower. My dad can't afford to buy me a mower these days... :lol: :lol:

My dad does the guilt trip thing too when it comes to other things. If I mention something broke he always is like, "so what did you do?"

It drives me nuts sometimes but can't help to love the old man.

[Don-Dad]

I live 2.5 hours from my parents and that's a good thing as my step dad tends to have a very strong opinion about everything and it has rubbed off on my mom. Our car is in need of over $1000 in repairs, it a 98 Dodge Stratus and just not worth it. My mom says , can't you just fix it yourself? Knowing full well that I am not much of a car mechanic and then my dad chimes in, I can fix it, and only cost $200 in parts. Really trying to give me that holier than thou attitude, just urchs me :evil:

BTW, Kids writer, was it your profile that indicated you live in Portsville? Is that in the Rochester, NY area? if so, your not too far from me, I live outside syracuse.

[tt3]

then my dad chimes in, I can fix it, and only cost $200 in parts. Really trying to give me that holier than thou attitude, just urchs me :evil:


Sounds like he just volunteered. Tell him you'll provide the coffee and be the wrench runner, he just needs to get his ass over and fix it.
I pulled that on my wifes dad, he was critisising my paint job of the walls to cieling, ya know that corner where you don't want the wall paint on the cieling, but don't want white on the wall either, ya know? He was telling me how to do it, and I just handed the brush to him and said "go nuts"
:twisted:

I always tell people there is a reason we live so far away from our folks. Not only does it allow you to establish your independance early on, it makes the visits that much more special when you do visit...
That, and I love the folks, but not ever day, or every week... or weekend....

[kidswriter71]

Remington: Yes, it is awesome and I do appreciate it. He also brought veggies and fruit (he always does!) and some other things. He tried giving me money because my last severance pay check was quite late in arriving and we were getting really low on cash, but I wouldn't take it.

Don: I'll trade you your 1998 Dodge Stratus for our 1988 Dodge Caravan!

Portville is on the PA border, next to Olean. We're 90 miles south of my parents, who live just north of Batavia. My wife grew up in Rochester and I grew up on Grand Island. Before we moved south, we lived in Little Falls for a few years, which isn't far from you. When that big storm hit in '98 that killed two people at the State Fair, I was working for a paging company at that point and spent days driving around the war zone getting paging transmitters back online. The only site covering Syracuse that had power was 50 Presidential Plaza, downtown. It however was offline too because the storm had blown the dish off the roof. What an experience...

TT3: Funny. I've said the same thing to people. If you can do better - have at it! :lol:

[Don-Dad]

Kidswriter,

I grew up in Angola (well buffalo too). My parents still live in Angola. We lived down in Hotlanta for 7 years and we were married in Syracuse, the weekend after that big storm, my wife was in Syracuse during the storm, I was in buffalo at my bachelor party. She calls me up "Aren't you worriied about me?" I was like, why what happened?" I was in buffalo and canada that night celebrating my future married, you know at the Canadien Ballet :wink: Ahh the good old days.

BTW, We are giving the Stratus to my step father :D , said you want to fix it you can have it, its actually for my younger brother.

[kidswriter71]

My grandfather lived in Angola, on Applewood Rd (Dr?), I think it was. We used to visit him quite a lot.

:lol: at your bachelor party story. Canadian Ballet, ROFL - I never heard "it" called that before. Funny. I bet your wife will never let you live that night down, eh? :P

[Jackson's Dad]

Tell your Dad "well, I thought I had even speed to jump the ditch, but...". Yeah my Dad used to be like that as well, but he's mellowed. As a kid, we had two rambling acres that I had to mow. What a job that was. I'd do anything to alleviate the boredom or speed it up.. but he could always tell that places where I had the thing in third gear!

Now he's the one who calls up and asks me to save up projects for him to do. I love it, because I am learning just how handy he is!

Hey, my cousins live in Grand Island (do you know any of the Johnsons?). My folks now live in Rochester (yes, my Dad worked at Kodak. How'd you guess?). Why is it that I never meet anyone from the Old Country, until I get on this site and find tons of people! I love it.

[Anonymous]

I hve the problem similiar but with the inlaws, which I am just here really to watch the kids, but I better not have a thought process. It is really redicules actallly, and there son the brother in law still lives at home which he is in his thirtys i might add. I get tons of advice from them all, but none of it helps with the way I want to raise my kids. It seems like I am a clown, but when it comes to something serious to hell with listening to me. Well before marriage and kids I was a sergeant in charge of fifteen to twenty troops in the military. I guess now that I do not work, I am not capable of a mental process. It really steams me up some times, and it is really only getting worse. For I live on there property, so where am I going to go. I really hate it sometimes, and I have told them all many times to back off of my child, but no reaction, so I guess I will just have to get more intense. For it really does not matter how much they like the way I raise my children, they are my children.

[tt3]

For it really does not matter how much they like the way I raise my children, they are my children.
=D>
Amen. Its up to you and your wife, no one else!

[Anonymous]

seem to think like me tt3

[alanisinmichigan]

I have that same problem with my inlaws.
With my own parents, there has been a 180 turn as far as the critisizng is concerned. As a kid (the oldest of 3) I couldn't do anything right, now instead of saying you're doing it wrong, they ask how I doing it and may or may give suggestions, kinda cool actually.
With my inlaws, they, both, will do or try to buy anything my wife asks for, but not before cirtisizing everything. It actually confuses me.

[floridamcmarion1]

I used to have a really bad problem with my mother trying to control everything I ever did. It ended up putting me in therapy after a rip roaring breakdown that almost ended in suicide. From my therapist I learned a valuable bit of advice that I used on my mother to stop her attitude. I made it very clear that I was now in charge of my own life and she could either accept that and keep her opinions to herself or not be a part of my life. After I hung up the phone on her several times and left from what was to be a weekend visit after only 5 minutes she got the picture that I was serious and no longer going to accept her verbal and emotional abuse. She could either treat me how I deserved or lose me from her life forever. I now have a great relationship with her and she is an awesome grandma. It's just too bad she sucked so bad at being a mother. It also has helped our relationship since I have lived in Florida for the last 5 years and she lives in Oregon. Sometimes a little distance can be a big help.

The moral of this story is that sometimes you need to weigh whether a relationship is so destructive that it either needs to be changed or eliminated.