benj
10-22-2004, 04:56 AM
Three Tricks of Getting Cooperation.
Many confrontations can be prevented by thinking ahead. To begin with, you may need to use ‘stand and think’ at least a dozen times a day with little children. Soon, though they learn to act on an early warning, or a count, 1, 2, 3. If you get to three, be sure and follow through. Hollow words ruin your credibility. As they get older I try and divert them and save the firm love skills (and your energy) for the times once or twice a day when some important lesson needs to be addressed.
Prevention: A lot of kid trouble arises out of stress, fatigue and hunger. Make sure you kids have a good feed before heading out, stop for snacks regularly. Avoid really high sugar or coloured foods, except for the occasional treat after a meal.
Time your activities. Make your day ritualised. Routine is your friend. Be sure they get outside enough to burn of their excess energy and get some exercise.
Diversion: My personal favourite. Often trouble can be avoided by finding a better way, striking a bargain, even bribery-‘Look mate, I’ll buy you a donut, but you’ll have to help me and walk for awhile.’
Like Rem spoke of, a lot of ‘naughtiness’ is children just not knowing the right way to do things. You teach your kids what good behaviour is. How else will they find out?
Confronting: When you have tried all the above and your child is still being difficult, then it may mean that your child is asking for a confrontation. So why not give them one? Some kids need boundaries, especially boys. At other times they just aren’t able, without the help of our discipline, to handle a problem like sharing, waiting, not hitting and so on. These are the times to use ‘stand and think’ followed by ‘dealing.’ We are not aiming to ‘shut down’ their behaviour, but to make it more effective.
Many confrontations can be prevented by thinking ahead. To begin with, you may need to use ‘stand and think’ at least a dozen times a day with little children. Soon, though they learn to act on an early warning, or a count, 1, 2, 3. If you get to three, be sure and follow through. Hollow words ruin your credibility. As they get older I try and divert them and save the firm love skills (and your energy) for the times once or twice a day when some important lesson needs to be addressed.
Prevention: A lot of kid trouble arises out of stress, fatigue and hunger. Make sure you kids have a good feed before heading out, stop for snacks regularly. Avoid really high sugar or coloured foods, except for the occasional treat after a meal.
Time your activities. Make your day ritualised. Routine is your friend. Be sure they get outside enough to burn of their excess energy and get some exercise.
Diversion: My personal favourite. Often trouble can be avoided by finding a better way, striking a bargain, even bribery-‘Look mate, I’ll buy you a donut, but you’ll have to help me and walk for awhile.’
Like Rem spoke of, a lot of ‘naughtiness’ is children just not knowing the right way to do things. You teach your kids what good behaviour is. How else will they find out?
Confronting: When you have tried all the above and your child is still being difficult, then it may mean that your child is asking for a confrontation. So why not give them one? Some kids need boundaries, especially boys. At other times they just aren’t able, without the help of our discipline, to handle a problem like sharing, waiting, not hitting and so on. These are the times to use ‘stand and think’ followed by ‘dealing.’ We are not aiming to ‘shut down’ their behaviour, but to make it more effective.