underfoot
06-05-2004, 04:10 AM
Hey everyone. I want to contribute some of my experiences with preemies in hope that others can benefit from what I learned.
My daughter was born Feb, 6 2003. That was 3 months early. Weighing in at 1lb 15oz, and less than 13 inches long, things were at best touch and go. Very trying times, to say the least. She was on every type of breathing apparatus, had wires and tubes hooked up to her and looked like something alien. Today she is 19 pounds and 29 1/2 inches long. We feel very fortunate.
The most important thing with a premature infant is: Be with your baby. Your child will be in an environment that is both hostile and foreign. Womb is comfy. Incubator is not. She will need you there. My wife and I spent a couple hours a day with our daughter. At first all we were allowed to do was look at her and talk to her so that’s what we did. We brought pictures of us, our dogs, her family, etc. Afterward, when she had grown a little, we were allowed to pick her up and "kangaroo" with her. Studies have shown that kangaroo-ing encourages your child's physical and mental development. Do it as often as the nurses will allow.
Don’t be your own doctor!!! Every child is different and looking up information on the internet will only freak you out. Consult with your nurses and doctors. They've already done the research for you.
Be sure to follow the advice of your baby's nurses. These folks know what is going on with your child better than any one. Ask them questions, cry on their shoulder. They are there not only to help your baby, but to help you as well.
When a crisis happens, and it will, keep your wits about you. Now isn’t the time to panic, it’s the time for rational thought. Get to the hospital, learn every thing that you can about the situation and learn what steps are being taken as a remedy.
Be honest with yourself and with your spouse. You will be angry, confused, depressed, and nearly every other emotion. Most of them at the same time. Understand that it's natural and nothing to be ashamed of. These feelings are something else to be dealt with. At the hospital there are many outlets such as counseling and group sessions to help with what’s going on. By sharing your feelings, you can help yourself and lend a hand to some one else who is in a similar situation.
I found that writing helped me. I wrote page after page about nothing more than what I was feeling and thinking at the time. Doing so allowed me to clarify the chaos in my head. Find that outlet (writing, music, etc) and use it as often as necessary. You'll be satisfied that you did.
Take pictures. She looked alien but she was still a beautiful baby to me.
Don’t feel guilty for taking a day off. The hospital can be an overwhelming place. There is no shame in taking a mental health day to allow your self to rest.
Be understanding of those who are unable to handle the situation as well as you. It’s difficult on everyone. Your compassion and understanding will be appreciated.
Last but not least, realize that you are not alone. Your lifeline will be your family, friends and the hospital staff. Rely on them and trust in them. They will help you immensely.
My daughter was born Feb, 6 2003. That was 3 months early. Weighing in at 1lb 15oz, and less than 13 inches long, things were at best touch and go. Very trying times, to say the least. She was on every type of breathing apparatus, had wires and tubes hooked up to her and looked like something alien. Today she is 19 pounds and 29 1/2 inches long. We feel very fortunate.
The most important thing with a premature infant is: Be with your baby. Your child will be in an environment that is both hostile and foreign. Womb is comfy. Incubator is not. She will need you there. My wife and I spent a couple hours a day with our daughter. At first all we were allowed to do was look at her and talk to her so that’s what we did. We brought pictures of us, our dogs, her family, etc. Afterward, when she had grown a little, we were allowed to pick her up and "kangaroo" with her. Studies have shown that kangaroo-ing encourages your child's physical and mental development. Do it as often as the nurses will allow.
Don’t be your own doctor!!! Every child is different and looking up information on the internet will only freak you out. Consult with your nurses and doctors. They've already done the research for you.
Be sure to follow the advice of your baby's nurses. These folks know what is going on with your child better than any one. Ask them questions, cry on their shoulder. They are there not only to help your baby, but to help you as well.
When a crisis happens, and it will, keep your wits about you. Now isn’t the time to panic, it’s the time for rational thought. Get to the hospital, learn every thing that you can about the situation and learn what steps are being taken as a remedy.
Be honest with yourself and with your spouse. You will be angry, confused, depressed, and nearly every other emotion. Most of them at the same time. Understand that it's natural and nothing to be ashamed of. These feelings are something else to be dealt with. At the hospital there are many outlets such as counseling and group sessions to help with what’s going on. By sharing your feelings, you can help yourself and lend a hand to some one else who is in a similar situation.
I found that writing helped me. I wrote page after page about nothing more than what I was feeling and thinking at the time. Doing so allowed me to clarify the chaos in my head. Find that outlet (writing, music, etc) and use it as often as necessary. You'll be satisfied that you did.
Take pictures. She looked alien but she was still a beautiful baby to me.
Don’t feel guilty for taking a day off. The hospital can be an overwhelming place. There is no shame in taking a mental health day to allow your self to rest.
Be understanding of those who are unable to handle the situation as well as you. It’s difficult on everyone. Your compassion and understanding will be appreciated.
Last but not least, realize that you are not alone. Your lifeline will be your family, friends and the hospital staff. Rely on them and trust in them. They will help you immensely.