Considering the stay-at-home-dad life for a while

[romi]

Guys, I've hit a road block professionally. I am forced to either take a signifigant decrease in salary or leave the company. I've always wanted to start my own company but i don't know what type of company to start. My wife and I recently had our first child 5 months ago and we have looked at the day cares and nany's. Neither option is so wonderful because they are impersonal & expensive.

Now it seems that a great option is for me to stay home and let my wife work (she has a great job but she's been off for 6 months now becuase of our baby being born). In the meantime, I could look for a great job OR write my own business plan. I suppose another option is to become a stay at home dad.

Do you guys have any advice for me?

[romi]

what kinds of business' compliment the SAHD lifestyle?

[tt3]

Pretty much anything thats flexable. We've writers, al sorts of web related guys, motorcycle/custom chopper builder, consultants and other productive types just on this board.
Then there's me. :lol:

[romi]

How about some advice on what you guys had to go through? I feel like I would be looked at as "lazy". I feel like my wife wouldn't respect me as much. What can you tell me about those feelings?

[Don-Dad]

Romi,

First welcome to our site!

And yes all the feelings you have about staying home are right on target with the feelings we all have had. But at the end of the day you know what you have done (if you choose to stay home) is the best decision for your child. Its hard that is a fact but other parts of your life do not have to suffer so much. You mentioned wanting to start your own business and this would be a great time to take baby steps (pardon the pun) and explore your options. Be warned that working out of the home with a little one is very hard.

[SmokinZBT]

You don't say what your background is in, but that may be a place to start when thinking of a new business.

Beware of the pitfalls fo staying home and trying to get something started. I have two business ideas, one is real estate centered and I think I can make a decent amount working part time. The other is more technical (my background), that I really think is feasable from my preliminary research. I have a sitter one day a week where I can get some things done, but I really need about a two week period where I can go work on this thing to see if its viable. I am pretty sure it is, but want to have a solid plan in place to take to prospective employees and investors.

Zoe is (theoretically) taking two naps a day for about 2 hours each, she is eight months old. In those two naps, I have to take a shower, eat, check email,etc. That usually burns up the first nap. By the time I can actually focus (it takes me a while to get going, but then I can concentrate for hours) on working, she's up. Second nap I'm usually cleaning up the mess, doing dishes, or reading this site.

Definitely bring your wife into the decision. When you know the costs of day care or nanny (most large cities, I think they are about the same), you can make a choice based on finances that you both are buying into.

Good luck

[hockeydad]

Start a daycare.

I'm actually rather amazed that more of the guys on this site haven't kicked this idea around. Women have been doing it for ages ("that's right - the women are smarter").

I take care of one other kid beside my own in my little daycare. Next year I'm considering going up to two and incorporating. If you figure $4-500 per kid per month 2 kids brings in $800-$1000 add in the cost that you don't have to spend and your making about 1200-1500 a month - to stay home with your child. I realize to some that is not a lot of cash but it's better than none. Plus there is the added bonus when you do want to go back to work having 'run a small business' on the resume rather than just a blank spot.

There are some technical aspects to daycare. For one taxes are a problem, and after a certain amount of kids, in MT its 2, you have to get licensed. Having a clean and safe home. Staying current on first aid and cpr. And having a good understanding of child development and behavior. If you start getting into more kids there is also liability and child to adult ratio issues that need to be addressed. But if you start small it's not that hard.

I hear a lot of negative comments on day care on this site. And some of it I agree with. There are a lot of crap ones out there although there are also some good ones. But what better way to fix the problem then to be a solution.

[Don-Dad]

I'm actually rather amazed that more of the guys on this site haven't kicked this idea around. Women have been doing it for ages ("that's right - the women are smarter")

I have a hard enough time with my 2 kids let alone trying to care for other peoples kids.

[tt3]

I have a hard enough time with my 2 kids let alone trying to care for other peoples kids.

Sorry hock, I've got to agree with Don on this one. Your point is very valid though...

I hear a lot of negative comments on day care on this site. And some of it I agree with. There are a lot of crap ones out there although there are also some good ones. But what better way to fix the problem then to be a solution.

[hockeydad]

Louis wrote:Over by where I live daycare is 300 per kid per week, that's 15,600 per kid per year.

Anyone within a half mile of here just heard the sound of my jaw dropping. Sometimes I think I live in a third world country. The median family income is 22K in Big Sky land. Ain't nobody but a couple of rich out of staters up in the Flathead that could afford that price tag for day care.

Nice to know someone is making money in this field though.

[SmokinZBT]

Hock, where I live, Louis's $300/week would be considered a bargain. Nothing like living in the heart of Chicago for both diversity and high costs. I looked into the KinderCare a few blocks away, I don't remember exactly, but I believe it was $425/week. Most of our friends have nannies, that go for about $11/hour. The cost is slightly higher, but there is one-on-one with the kid, in your own home, with the kids own stuff, and you don't have to worry about alternate arrangements when baby is sick.
As far as diversity goes, we live in a somewhat modest townhouse across the street from section 8 housing. We are less than half a mile (South of us) from the infamous Cabrini-Green housing project, and about 2 blocks North of us, as well as 2-3 blocks East of us are incredible, jaw-dropping houses. Some of the smaller ones that are going up, that are just "run-of-the-mill" for the neighborhood, probably cost more than a 100-acre ranch with your own stream. Its too bad, I really like our neighborhood, but we'll have to move to another part of town when we have kid #2 comes so we can afford it.

On the other hand, we are only three red-line stops from Wrigley field! I've walked it once, but its about 2 1/2 miles (for the City thats pretty far)

[Jackson's Dad]

We are in the suburbs an hour outside NYC, and the rates are similar to Chicago: We are looking at nannies, and they go for around $500 a week ($12.50/hr). Yeah it's all about cost of living! Salaries are higher, but so are costs -- you only hope we all come out even in the end.

[jeffus]

Start a daycare.

I actually have a 3 inch thick file of supporting documents and information I used generating a business plan for a daycare center. I would have needed close to $450,000 to start one from the ground up.

This wasn't really the show-stopper, though. This was around 9/11 and the beginning of the recession. People were re-evaluating their priorities of course, but the thing that really killed it for me was the lay-offs. More families were getting laid-off so the demand wasn't there. As I assessed when I visited local facilities with lots of open slots.

Looks like demand is starting to come back since 2 new ones recently opened in town. I was 2 years too early and unfortunately the desire to open one now is long gone....

[hockeydad]

Jeffus wrote:
I actually have a 3 inch thick file of supporting documents and information I used generating a business plan for a daycare center. I would have needed close to $450,000 to start one from the ground up

Ok let me rephrase: Start a SMALL daycare.

I have thought about going full fledged into the business someday - separate facility, up to code playground, transportation, food service the whole nine yards. But to be honest I'm not the kind to put out half a mil in capital investment. And the reality is the thing I like is teaching early childhood. It's why I loved working at head start. Why I want to go back once the little lady is out of house. To go in for all the marbles would require me to be out of the classroom too much. So I'll stick with my small daycare/manny gig and be as the dad of my one care says 'the most over qualified baby sitter around'.

[Jackson's Dad]

Yeah, it's good to make sure what you love to do it the driver of any business idea. So, a small daycare service with an emphasis on education? That is very interesting! You could have a unique proposition there. I know that such a place would be in huge demand in this area.

[andywindsor]

Why not make call it DADDY DAY CARE? Hope that Eddie Murphy doesn't sue. I did a poll on a mom website and the results were about 50/50 that moms where willing to trust a dad to take care of their children.

Go for it.

[Stephen Connolly]

I'm seriously considering the home day-care angle myself. I had a first-hand look at it because my sister also has twins and ran a day-care until they started school. She took in quite a few, from babies to latch-key teenagers. She made a good income and because her home was her workplace she got a lot of cool taxbreaks.
Here in Michigan I need to be licensed and there're stipulations about number of care-givers per age group. I have twin infants so would have to take in children who are 18 months +. But I figure I'm at home anyway, I'd rather not rejoin the workforce and I have a background in education. This way I can run a business and still have evenings and weekends free with my family.