wierd

[Anonymous]

I find it getting wierd that many dads are starting to do what we have been doing for years. My frined had been doing the stay at home with his daugher since 95, I started in 2000 when I was layed off, and the new job I got was not adding up finacially. It really always seems to be that why money related. One true thing I really noticed is that no matter the reason why you do the stay at home thing, you are always having to justifiey it sombody that does not think a male should stay home and the women go work. My friend at the gym just lost his job, and I asked him if he is going to be a stay at home dad, and he looked at me as if I was crazy, but I proudly told him that I have been doing for three years now. My daughter is three and my youngest daughter is two months old, which they do not get sick as much and I have a bond that I never had with my dad. I teach them all sorts of things taht a daycare would not, I did martial arts since I was five and already started teaching her that. I have given her an appreciation of sports and physical exercise versus computers (irony) and games indoors. She likes to go to the gym with me and watch and she imitates the people lifting the weight. She gets smarter faster, in a way, but I still take her to mothers day out to get the envirmont of children her age. Still my dad will never really think it is a good thing it is doing, unlike my brother in law and fatehr in law seem pretty cool about. Which is wierd to me, i figured it would be the other way around. Oh well, I feel that more father figures should be in there kids life, not having to stay home, but be more of a productive parent.

[Don-Dad]

I don't find it weird. I started back in 1999, and never looked back. Sure some people just don't get it but the heck with them. women are slowly breaking the glass ceiling and have the potential to earn as much or more than their spouse. If you have children and take full responsibility in raising them, then it only makes sense more men are taking on the job cause their wifes are making more money. Money is not the only thing that drives me to this decision, my dad left my mom when i was 3 and I have never really known him so I'm sure that plays a role in my subconscious ;)

[Remington]

That is a good point Don! A lot of it is just a pride thing. At first it is hard to believe a "man" can do what women always did.

It isn't like we are putting on a pink dress in the morning. You can still be a guy and be with the kiddos. I find I just have a different style than most mothers that stay home! 8)

[hockeydad]

Rem said: It isn't like we are putting on a pink dress in the morning

Yeah! I look much better in green anyway. :shock:

That's it alc1 you've made up my mind. I absolutely will not be getting a membership to a gym in the new year. No way. And it has nothing to do with the fact that anybody including little old grandmas and Rem wearing a pink dress could bench press more than me. I'm just avoiding crazy looks. Please tell me you get dirty looks while jogging and mowing the lawn too. :)

[aaronlc1]

yall miss the main point of my writting, that there will be people that will not understand us no matter what. It is a struggle that many people can relate to, whether it be equal rights at work, or for race color or creed, we are struggling for eqaual rights at tthe home also. For every woman that looks at us like we are sick or demintied, to men that say we are lazy. To the men that long to do what we do but will never say it or do, even though I know my duaghters favorite cartoon character and know her favorite park. That is the main point that we need to make people understand our plite, not to just dismiss people and say "to heck with them" then people will never understand.

[aaronlc1]

those are all the points that I am trying to make to others. Thank you for understanding, but the divorce part is not important. It is just the reconition or undrestanding.

[hockeydad]

Being proud of my parenting choices never hinges on acceptance by anybody but my immediate, nuclear family. That being said there certainly is a point to the fact that we are a minority and in that sense considered outsiders. But we must be careful to not overstate our situation. While a minority, SAHD's are not a persecuted minority. There are no mobs after us or constitutional amendments trying to ban our lifestyle. With the exception of divorce and male parental rights Louis brought up and the very real limitations of one income families, society does little in the way of concrete actions to hinder us. Sure there are looks, snide comments, occasionaly familial or social alienation, but nothing that can't be overlooked or avoided.

Our situation is only slightly different than the much more ancient problems of the SAHM. For years women faced the misconceptions and prejudices we now are encountering. They have answered these by creating a necessary and strong sense of self importance and self worth. That is, in the absence of equality and acceptance the SAHM circled the wagons around their SAHM status. Sometimes however this self worth goes to excess, to a point where they believe their way is the only way: that women are the only SAHP option. Something some of us have experienced first hand by being rudely excluded from their clubs.

I disagree with this attitude. I am proud of my choice and I will be happy to help other dads find the same course if that is what they want. But I refuse to believe that my decision is the pinnacle of parenting. It is just my way. Better for me than putting my child in daycare but possibly worse for someone else. I do not appreciate it when people thumb their nose at my choice and I try not to mock theirs.

So while I understood your point, I chose to bring levity to the thread rather than head down the path I sensed it was going. If that made you feel I was disrespecting your opinion or misunderstanding you - it was not my intention.

[aaronlc1]

"So while I understood your point, I chose to bring levity to the thread rather than head down the path I sensed it was going. If that made you feel I was disrespecting your opinion or misunderstanding you - it was not my intention."

No I did not feel disrespected or that I was ever misunderstood, I respect all your ideas and opions, I like hearing other peoples ideas. I feel it makes my ideas broader and have more depth when I hear other people. So thank you all for writting in and talking to me.