Raleigh

[APdad]

Anyone know of a playgroup with 4yr olds in Raleigh area?

[Weston]

Have you tried going to the Shelly Lake playground? I've been there a few times, though it has been a while, but there always seemed to be a lot of kids playing there and maybe opportunity to meet dad-welcoming moms.

Good luck.

[Weston]

Try this site - www.Triangledads.com (http://www.Triangledads.com)

Don't know how active it is, but it might help

[Weston]

Durham Sahp meetup group (http://sahp.meetup.com/42/?gj=sj6)

[Hockeyfan]

There is a Cary Dads meetup group too. It's on that Meetup.com site. Didn't look overly interesting to me though. You can look and be the judge. They don't get out too much.

Weston, I was going to call you. I went to Cary Town Center yesterday. Had to pick up the wife some B-day presents. I was running late though and it wouldn't have given you much time to get up there. Gotta get out again soon when the weather cools down.

[Weston]

Yeah, will have to be soon for me though, as I don't know how much longer I'll be able to get out during the day.

[Hockeyfan]

?? What do you mean? Why can't you get out?

[Weston]

?? What do you mean? Why can't you get out?

I'm probably crossing over "to the other side" (going back to work...sniff)

Though it could be I'll only be going back PT, not sure yet. You got lucky and missed some of my threads agonizing over this. :violin: :)

[APdad]

Durham Sahp meetup group (http://sahp.meetup.com/42/?gj=sj6)
Closed to new members.
Didn't see another similar group on meetup.

I also looked on playgroupsusa.com. I found a group that sounded great, but its full and I couldn't get any other information. I created my own group several days ago but haven't received any response.

[APdad]

Try this site - www.Triangledads.com (http://www.Triangledads.com)

Don't know how active it is, but it might help
I was referred to triangleareadads by trianglemommies, but there's almost no one there. I also read the thread on triangledads where he (and all dads) got kicked off of trianglemommies because moms were not comfortable talking about their marital issues with dads on the forum.

I find this truly amazing. I've never experienced such discrimination, as if it doesn't count to be a father who is involved in raising their children. Then the mothers get together and complain about their do nothing husbands that don't help raising the kids.... Tha just screams double standard.

I first experienced this at a Attachment Parenting meeting. A big part of the premise is building attachment to your child, which is fostered through good communication among other things. Yet at this meeting, even after my wife and I had been introduced, all these mothers went one by one in turn to complain about their husbands. It had nothing to do with AP, just a bitch session about their husbands. Some mothers even complained that their husbands WERE involved with their kids.

I thought this was a weird crowd, but as time goes on, I continue to see this dad can't be a primary parent assumption everywhere I go.

[tsquared]

Tell me about it. I don't go to any group (which are always moms groups pretty much by default regardless of why they were organized to begin with) unless I know one or more of the moms. There's just no point in it. I'm at best bored to death and at worst shunned like a leper.

I feel like getting custom buttons or t-shirts and going to these groups just to piss people off.

* "If I really wanted to hit on women, I wouldn't be here."
* "I can take care of my kids, have a penis, and chew gum at the same time."
* "I'm sorry your husbands are losers. And I'm sorry it makes you uncomfortable that I'm not."
* "You think I don't already know about Aunt Flo?"
* "I see my wife every day, I have an Internet connection, why would I care that you breastfeed near me?"

Feel free to add your own.

If anybody in the Triangle can make it to either Triangle Town Center or Crabtree Mall Tuesday or Wednesday afternoons, I might be able to join you. My schedule is pretty screwy, but maybe we can at least find two or three people to wander around and shun some of the stroller moms one day. :)

[Weston]

Some mothers even complained that their husbands WERE involved with their kids.

I thought this was a weird crowd, but as time goes on, I continue to see this dad can't be a primary parent assumption everywhere I go.

I got that vibe at the last playgroup I tried for babies my daughter's age. I heard a good bit of "my husband does nothing and/or nothing right" and then some of "my husband is too involved/controlling". It was strange, and being the only guy there made me uncomfortable. I guess it may be the only place for the moms to get out and vent whatever frustrations they have (much like this site is for some of us Sahds). The last time we were there and a discussion turned to the "my husband does nothing and/or nothing right" meme, I suggested that they allow their husbands to try helping with the baby even if they 'make some mistakes' along the way. That maybe their husbands just give up on trying because they don't want to 'do something wrong'. I got some blank looks on that one.

Up until about two years old I think it is fine for children to just see other children at playgrounds or where ever, but I have to say that now my son loves making friends that he can see on a semi-regular basis. Maybe your playgroup will take off soon. If I was closer I'd meet up with you guys, but I'm almost an hour away from most places in Raleigh.