pzacle
04-01-2005, 03:26 AM
I thought I'd share a philosophy and practice that I started doing with my kids when they were real young, about the average age of the kids on this forum. This has made a HUGE difference in our lives, and I know the kids have greatly benefited.
Commercial television. I admit, this is a sensitive subject with people. Some people love television. Some people love to hate television. A parent's personal relationship with television, however, has to change greatly in order to properly parent our kids. Why? Because television can screw kids up big time.
A convenient babysitter? Not. Especially not commercial television (ie television with commercials) Heres why.
While kids sit in front of the box, understanding maybe only a fraction of what they hear and see (when they are young), they are absorbing procedures in how to think and process information.
Commercial television teaches kids to break their concentration from what they are doing (watching a show they like) repeatedly. As the end of the show approaches and the action reaches a climax, the frequency of commercial interruptions increase. Young kids with short attention spans quickly forget the show during these long interruptions and give up (abandon the activity, quit, not follow through... words to which adults can relate when it comes to being sucessful in any endeavor). Only they don't know they've given up; they just get frustrated because of the lack of completion. This ritual teaches our young kids that concentration, ie watching a show intently, does not lead to satisfaction, and encourages them not to concentrate, and not to complete. It is my judgement that commercial tv, by its very nature, predisposes kids to ADD and HDAD later in life, and teaches our kids to seek and cherish distractions that detract from their goals, or their own best interests.
These commercials also teach kids, from a very early age, to crave things, and to seek satisfaction in life from objects or situations outside the love of their family, and to begin believing, at an early age, that satisfaction comes only with excitment, and excitement comes from toys r us.
I determined very early as a parent that I wanted my kids to value and seek satisfaction and completion from the family, not the outside world, and I wanted to ensure they established the will and ability to concentrate so they could create goals and reach them.
I did several things to preclude problems with television viewing. I hope someone else can find these useful. This was arrived at over many years of interacting with my kids and tv:
1. From an early age, I did not allow the kids to watch commercial television, only videos, or PBS where there were few interruptions. The only exception I made was the Disney Channel.
2. As soon as it was available we got TIVO and taught the kids to fast forward through all commercials. Each kid now has their own TIVO box and all their favorite programs are recorded with season passes. This does several things: fast forwarding through all commercials gives them complete control over the programming and they are then able to achieve the sense of completion they need with each program on their own terms. Fast forwarding prevents marketeers from enticing them with cheap plastic stuff they did not need or even want, and now, after many years of this lifestyle, I tell you it is great when XMAS comes that they are not rehashing commercials they have seen. TIVO also eliminates surfing out of boredom as an activity, which is a total waste of time.
3. We did not ever, not once, allow the kids to watch prime time television, or anything with adult themes, no news, no reality shows, only kid stuff, and only after I determined it was not too edgy. Not all cartoons are harmless- you really do have to watch every one and be gatekeeper to everything they see on television. I rarely watch tv for myself, and my wife watches HGTV if anything, so this was actually very easy for us to do.
4. Before TIVO, when the kids were maybe two, we started teaching them how to tell the difference between a commercial and a program. We made them notice the change in the program, and then, as soon as possible, identify what was being sold, and what was the commercial trying to make them feel in order to get them to want it. Most kids commercials work the same, and by the time they were each three they were able to scream "Commercial" as soon as one came on. Then we taught them how to mute commercials and not pay attention to them while they were on. Once this was learned, if they didn't mute the commercials, they would loose tv privileges.
5. We have set time limits on tv viewing per day. Since birth, it was 2 hours of their own programming/per day (family movies with mom and dad don't count). We noticed that on days when they watched too much tv, their behavior would become anti-social, non-verbal, anxious as if over stimulated. They would have aversion to using their imagination, and to actually play with each other. This is not so much an issue now as I keep the kids very busy after school.
Now, I still screen what they watch, though they have the screening skills to know what they can handle and what they should and shouldn't watch. They still shout, "Commercial, Mute," it it warms my heart when I hear it from the other room.
Something to think about.
Phil
next comment will be video games...
Commercial television. I admit, this is a sensitive subject with people. Some people love television. Some people love to hate television. A parent's personal relationship with television, however, has to change greatly in order to properly parent our kids. Why? Because television can screw kids up big time.
A convenient babysitter? Not. Especially not commercial television (ie television with commercials) Heres why.
While kids sit in front of the box, understanding maybe only a fraction of what they hear and see (when they are young), they are absorbing procedures in how to think and process information.
Commercial television teaches kids to break their concentration from what they are doing (watching a show they like) repeatedly. As the end of the show approaches and the action reaches a climax, the frequency of commercial interruptions increase. Young kids with short attention spans quickly forget the show during these long interruptions and give up (abandon the activity, quit, not follow through... words to which adults can relate when it comes to being sucessful in any endeavor). Only they don't know they've given up; they just get frustrated because of the lack of completion. This ritual teaches our young kids that concentration, ie watching a show intently, does not lead to satisfaction, and encourages them not to concentrate, and not to complete. It is my judgement that commercial tv, by its very nature, predisposes kids to ADD and HDAD later in life, and teaches our kids to seek and cherish distractions that detract from their goals, or their own best interests.
These commercials also teach kids, from a very early age, to crave things, and to seek satisfaction in life from objects or situations outside the love of their family, and to begin believing, at an early age, that satisfaction comes only with excitment, and excitement comes from toys r us.
I determined very early as a parent that I wanted my kids to value and seek satisfaction and completion from the family, not the outside world, and I wanted to ensure they established the will and ability to concentrate so they could create goals and reach them.
I did several things to preclude problems with television viewing. I hope someone else can find these useful. This was arrived at over many years of interacting with my kids and tv:
1. From an early age, I did not allow the kids to watch commercial television, only videos, or PBS where there were few interruptions. The only exception I made was the Disney Channel.
2. As soon as it was available we got TIVO and taught the kids to fast forward through all commercials. Each kid now has their own TIVO box and all their favorite programs are recorded with season passes. This does several things: fast forwarding through all commercials gives them complete control over the programming and they are then able to achieve the sense of completion they need with each program on their own terms. Fast forwarding prevents marketeers from enticing them with cheap plastic stuff they did not need or even want, and now, after many years of this lifestyle, I tell you it is great when XMAS comes that they are not rehashing commercials they have seen. TIVO also eliminates surfing out of boredom as an activity, which is a total waste of time.
3. We did not ever, not once, allow the kids to watch prime time television, or anything with adult themes, no news, no reality shows, only kid stuff, and only after I determined it was not too edgy. Not all cartoons are harmless- you really do have to watch every one and be gatekeeper to everything they see on television. I rarely watch tv for myself, and my wife watches HGTV if anything, so this was actually very easy for us to do.
4. Before TIVO, when the kids were maybe two, we started teaching them how to tell the difference between a commercial and a program. We made them notice the change in the program, and then, as soon as possible, identify what was being sold, and what was the commercial trying to make them feel in order to get them to want it. Most kids commercials work the same, and by the time they were each three they were able to scream "Commercial" as soon as one came on. Then we taught them how to mute commercials and not pay attention to them while they were on. Once this was learned, if they didn't mute the commercials, they would loose tv privileges.
5. We have set time limits on tv viewing per day. Since birth, it was 2 hours of their own programming/per day (family movies with mom and dad don't count). We noticed that on days when they watched too much tv, their behavior would become anti-social, non-verbal, anxious as if over stimulated. They would have aversion to using their imagination, and to actually play with each other. This is not so much an issue now as I keep the kids very busy after school.
Now, I still screen what they watch, though they have the screening skills to know what they can handle and what they should and shouldn't watch. They still shout, "Commercial, Mute," it it warms my heart when I hear it from the other room.
Something to think about.
Phil
next comment will be video games...