New to staying at home...

[Groveinc]

After two months of co-adjusting to our new baby girl, Jane, my wife has returnd to work. After less than a week I am already feeling lonely, overwhelmed and not sure we made the right decision. Sound familiar? Any words of wisdom?

[tt3]

Yes. First welcome to the site. My first bit of advice is stick around, read the previous posts, and post yourself. This site has been a lifesaver for me, being able to commiserate with a bunch of other dads that are in the same situation as me.
Not nowing your exact situation, I can still say you are making the right decision. (Of course, I'm biased...) Right now your little squirt is still just an eating screaming poop machine, right? Give it a few more months and watch the personality take off, you are right there for roll overs, sit ups, crawling walking words everything, and you are there for your girl. Your presence in her life now will affect her forever!
Besides all that, you are the one making sure she is raised the way you want her to be. ya know?
Come back, post often, rant rave cheer scream whatever man, you'll get a response, there's a bunch of great guys here with a lot of advice!
Peace,

[GoatBeard]

Yep, sounds perfectly correct. I posted somewhere else on this board that I went out and got a part-time job working nights and weekends. It's hard to not have any adult interaction. Your feelings are normal and you'll be just fine.

[Weston]

Welcome Grove,

Your not alone. I bet there's not many stay at home dads that don't feel that way sometimes...especially at first. Like Tony said, give it time and in a few months it will all pay off in the benefits of seeing your child grow up and actually witnessing and participating in the moments that are most important. If you need to, consider doing what Goat-man has done and get a part-time job. Definitely go through the previous posts on this site and you'll find out that your not alone in your feelings and you'll also find out some of the great things that are in store for you!

Mike

[GoatBeard]

So I get up at 6 am and start watchin' the baby, I meet Mommy around 4:50 pm at my work and we switch cars, she gets the baby. I clock in around 5:00 pm. I get home at 11:30 pm and by the time I wind down it's close to 2:00 am. I get up at 6:00 am and do it all over again. Then I work every weekend from 9 am - 6 pm.

I don't have a whole lotta time to think about anything, really. But I'm getting adjusted to the schedule and it keeps me busy. I don't know that I want to keep up this pace forever -- but for now it works great. The little bit of extra money I make is really helping us get out of debt. SNOWBALL THAT DEBT, BABY. hehe

Nothing matters but the baby -- the extra stuff 'm doing, I'm doing for selfish reasons. I'm paying the price in sleep deprivation -- feels like boot-camp all over again, but that is the path that best suits my needs at this point in time. I've actually worked the past 8 days in a row and our biggest problem is that we can't "pawn off" our youngin' on relatives -- none of them live close to us. Luckily, my parents are coming down today so I will get a much-needed break. It's all worth it though. If the job starts to interfere with my time with my little one, the job will go -- it's just not that important.

[Don-Dad]

Groveinc, welcome! You know the old saying "Hindsight is 20/20." I bet most everyone one this board can agree that we made the right decision and though it might not as been so clear or 20/20 at first, it's crystal clear now :) Best move any parent can make, Mom or Dad is to raise your own children :) (if they can live on one income of course) I have been home over 5 years now, I do run a business out of the home so I am lacking some adult interaction. But I try to get out of the house, go to your local YMCA, Library and from time to time I actually get to talk to an adult, hahaha!

Good luck and hang tough!

[jeffus]

If you're really lonely, look through the paper, yellow pages, etc. & find contractors that provide "free estimates", and call them in to discuss imaginary projects. The bigger, the better - they'll spend more time with you on a big project. You can make coffee, offer them a bite to eat - what the heck, make a day out of it! :D

I AM Joking. Really. I mean it. Really. :oops:

The beginning is the worst. You haven't found you're groove yet. Think you don't know what you're doing. Used to having people around - at work, at home, etc. Lot's of attention when baby came - now its just you and the kid. Wondering if you've made the right decision. The list goes on and on.

It's a huge transition. In my humble opinion, the first 9-10 months are, well frankly, not a lot of fun. After that, it's a blast and it only gets better and better.

Stick with it - it'll get better. And tons of fun!

[Weston]

9 to 10 months huh?... Guess I've made it over the hump then.

It is tough sometimes. I tend to second guess whether I am doing enough or If I'm even needed for what I'm doing. But you just have to realize that the whole purpose of staying at home with the kid isn't just to baby sit or to take care of household chores... its the idea that its better for a parent to be raising their child than a daycare facility. Period.

[Groveinc]

Thanks for the help, nice to read your thoughts! I'm going to have to learn to surf one handed to keep up with things on this site.

[pzacle]

I might add one thing... and this is important.

Its really easy to abandon everything one loves for parenting, especially when the kids are young. The kids come first, and if some task or outing that we want to do for us seems inconvenient, alot of us will probably just blow it off, right?

I can remember putting off getting a new pair of shoes for myself for weeks when I couldn't get my head wrapped around anything else but the kids.

This is the fastest way I know for a sahd to start hating his life. Every time I've jumped through the hurdle and done that thing I needed or wanted to do, whether by taking the kids or getting a babysitter, I felt victorious and on top of my game.

[tt3]

What a very good point!
Have we mentioned hobbies yet? If not, get a hobby. I brew, so the rewards are twofold ;)

[pzacle]

Hobbies are good. They can add that diversion we need. I've turned several into professions throughout my life. :wink:

[GoatBeard]

You don't have to type with one hand -- I remember saying the same thing. Just put the little one in the car seat and stick it beside you where your youngin' can look around.

Mine is 3 months, I use:

1.) Play mat with stuff hanging over it for her to look at
2.) Swing with stuff hanging all over it for her to look at
3.) Car Seat " " " " " " " " " " " " " " "
4.) Stroller AND car seat to go out in the yard and pick up chicks at the mall 8)
5.) Laying on Boppy Pillow when I'm sitting on the couch.

During the first 2 months the best thing we had was a "bouncy chair." It's made by Eddie Bauer and vibrates. You can hang stuff all over it. It is tilted a little so the youngin' isn't on their back totally. That thing was the best! I would recommend it to everyone for the first couple'a months.

Point being, you don't have to hold your youngin' 24/7. I think I hold mine around 15% of the time. A lot of the time I'm not holding her I'm playing with her or just have her where she can see me -- make faces at her, etc.

[tt3]

(.....boobs.... )

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

(..... beer.....)
8)