student needs your opinion

[Anonymous]

Hi There,

I'm a sociology student at Motlow State Community College and I am doing a paper on the how the father staying at home benefits the family. I was just wondering if some of y'all could give me your opinions.

Do you think it truly benefits your family? Do you think dads are better at home than moms are? Has it made a difference in your marriage? If so is it better or worse? Do you feel closer to your children? Do you feel society puts you down at all and if so how do you cope?

Thanks to all that reply and I want all of you to know my hat's off to you.

[Anonymous]

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[Fina]

I am 37 years old. I have a 6 year old, a 2 year old and my wife is expecting our third son the end of June. Any display of prioritizing women and children benefits the family unit and all members. So yes, it truly benefits the family. Better than moms, apples and oranges. Women are innately softer, more nurturing, gentler, affectively tuned, attentive to detail; so from a tenderness viewpoint, no way do I think better. It hasn't made a difference in my marriage. No I don't feel closer to my children. You may find that men who actually would stay at home are already close to their children. Of course society, which is a marketplace for sexual consumerism and the culture of death, does not approve. It's not productive for anyone's bottom line except the family's. So most resent it and see it as a waste of time. Going against the grain is a good sign I'm doing something right. There is nothing to cope with for me. Hope this helps. Fina

[SAHF]

I am a little late but here it goes.

I am a father of two great kids..my son who is 8 and my daughter who is 3. I have been in the Air Force, done construction, computer engineer, been through 3 hurricanes in 6 weeks, started my own business, and I am a stay at home dad!

Do you think it truly benefits your family?

Yes. My wife works hard and is good at what she does. Her benefits out weighed anything I could obtain as a computer guy. By me staying home, my sons grades went from Bs and Cs to straight A's in less than month.

I get to spend time with my kids and thus we get to bond in ways that no working man can understand. And yes, I do have tea parties and play dress up with my little girl. It helps her to see that her Dad is fun and secure and she can be too!

Do you think dads are better at home than moms are?

Ok...before I answer this one...let me turn off the cookies so the wife can not login as me! :wink:

I can only speak for myself, BUT..yes and no. Yes, because my children seem to be more well behaved and understands when enough is enough. Not to mention schooling and sports.

No, because my wife is the sensitive one. If my son gets hurt on the baseball field or something my words are, "are you dieing? Are you bleeding to death?...no, then get up and do it again!" Harsh I know, that is why I said yes and no!

Has it made a difference in your marriage?

If you as me or my wife, we would say yes. Positive improvements (that is as soon as I got over not having a job).

If so is it better or worse?

Better and worse!

Better...my kids get more time to play in sports and adventures. Learn to swim and have outings just for the hell of it. Wife does not have to worry anything other than laundry and she can spend more time on her studies and work.

Worse...because I am on the only one that can do anything anymore. She does not see that a SAHD is working from morning till bedtime. She does resent the fact I stay home and get to play with our children, at times.

Do you feel closer to your children?

Oh yes. My kids are my life. I have been home with them for the past year and a half. Been through 2 major hurricanes (no power) without mom and they did a great job helping out! I take my daughter with me when I go to a clients house to do computer networking and go on field trips with my son during school! Who wouldn't feel close to them!

Do you feel society puts you down at all and if so how do you cope?

Yes. Even my parents think that I must be lazy or something. They are old school and can not understand why, so they don't even try! The women I have come across, think it is a great thing. The men get a little sneakery until I tell them I get to stay home, play with my kids, run a business, and STILL get to take a nap. They understand a little better! :wink:

Coping is easy. Who cares what others think. It is what you feel inside that counts! That is what I tell my children when they feel down!

Side note:

A month ago at Walmart. A 50+ Hispanic lady walked up to me and my daugher when we were shopping and said, "that is beautiful". When I asked what was she commenting on she said, "a man bonding with his daughter is beautiful." Needless to say I then told her that I am a SAHD. To that she replied, "you are an angel and you are destine for great things." I did one more step in telling her that I am also a Cubmaster for my son's Cub Scout Pack. She ran down the isle and grabbed her friend.

When they came back to my daughter and I, they both touched me on the arm and smiled. Of course, I smiled back but said, (getting a little weird) "we have to finish shopping, it was nice talking with you." They followed me for approx. 3 isles before I headed for the checkout!

I have never been called an angel before and it felt great to know that I must be doing a good job!