Needing Support

[ericfm]

Hi Dad's,

My name is Eric and my wife and I are about to have birth to our first child in 2-3 weeks. I have been trying to get the word out for a Dad's support group here in Ashland but nothing has developed yet, so I thought I would give this a shot.

I am feeling really far from my wife. I feel like a really poor husband, very restless, and self-critical. I have felt a lot of fear around being close with my wife and for being a counselor I feel quite pathetic for not being able to heal enough or address what needs to be done to move through my fear to be close. At this point I am giving it up to Grace/God to help in some way as I have done all I can think of. I wish I could kick my butt more too. I just can't seem to get past a wall to loving her more.

Support?

Eric

[mjknapp]

Hi Eric, and welcome to the site, you picked a good place for support. There is quite a few dads here that have most likely went through the same thing you are, maybe with little differences here and there.

When my wife was pregnant, I had that wall to contend with too. It was hard to admit, but she was getting all the attention from everyone, and I was just sitting in the background trying to bite my tongue. I felt like noone realized that I was responsible for the new arrival too, maybe she had to deliver the baby, but I had just as much work ahead of me too. If I would have known that I was going to be a stay at homd dad, well then I could have said that I have more work to do. It was hard to admit, and only now do I realize that I was jealous of all the attention she was getting. But...................one has to realize also, that her body is going through alot of different physical and emotional changes throughout her pregnancy. She might be the nicest and sweetest person you know, and then, it is like Mr. Hyde will come out in her. I know it is hard, and you might just want to snap, but try as hard as you can to give her a break on the emotional roller coaster she is on.
I felt the same way as you on wanting to be able to heal more. A man has an inner sense inside that makes him want to fix problems. To be able to heal the ones we love, and when I couldnt accomplish it, I felt like a failure also. I am not sure how to make you feel better in that sense, just all I can say is that you can post on here, ask as many questions, spill your guts to all of us, and when you are ready, let your wife read some of your posts, and the answers that are wrtiien, and maybe she will understand what you are feeling a little bit more.

[mjknapp]

I have been thinking about your post for a while now, and I have another story, and another suggestion for you.

When I first found this site, there wasnt this forum yet. We kinda had a forum, but not nearly as good as this one. It was more like a long string of messages, and I posted in it, I was really a mess, My son had just gotten out of the hospital for the second time, My wife and I just couldnt seem to get along. And there was more problems that I wont bore you with, but Don told me to keep coming back and venting, I took his advice, and now I cant thank him enough for that advice, and for this site. So please dont give up, no matter how easy it might seem to just give up, I have had alot of friends that had a great relationship, and then after their first kid, seemed to let everything that meant so much to them before deteriorate.
My wife and I found a marriage counselor, I really didnt want to go, but was willing to do anything for this woman that I love so much, so I went. It was so worth the effort, it was hard to talk to someone about our problems, but as the sessions went on, it got alot easier, and really helped our relationship. I am not saying that we have a perfect relationship now, but we do really good. Try to find a counselor, and give it one honest effort, just swallow your pride, tear down that wall, and tell your wife what you are feeling. But I would try after she has the baby, as pregnant women are crazy!!! LOL, just kidding, when you feel the time is right, just go for it.

And please, keep posting, and "venting". I promise you from my expereince here, you will get alot more help than a person might think.

[tt3]

I'll second how helpful it is to just post and vent, thats for sure! I find getting away for a while really helps too, even if just an hour to read without interruption.
Good luck, and welcome!

Oh, btw, which ashland?

[Remington]

ericfm welcome to the site!

You have come to the right place. Let me tell you a bit about me first and maybe this will make you feel better.

I am currently 28 years old. My wife and I got married and moved west to Columbus Ohio 5 years ago June 21st. We skipped half of our honeymoon to move there and get set up so she could go to school. I had just graduated from college. The night we conceived our first child was the first night we arrived in Columbus. We didn't know one single person. We decided to have the baby at home in our apartment by choice. I was a wreck man, complete wreck. I had no clue what I was doing!

My wife and I drifted as we were struggling and learning the ropes of having a child. We fought daily, hardly made love. Then one day she tells me she is pregnant again. This was when our first child was only 8 months old. At the time I was staying home all day with the kid and working the graveyard shift. No sleep for me.

After the 2nd baby was born (at home again) I was no longer attracted to my wife and I felt very distant. Talks were mostly of who had been fed and changed. Then after a year or so we began to think about separation. Both of our parents are still together and have only been married once and so that was probably the ONLY reason why we worked it out. Jess was pulling long days at school, like 14 hour days.

I began to look after myself and didn't care about looking after my wife. So I began dabbling in the Internet and then decided to write a book which is now published.

Anyway.... moving right along... just when I felt I was at my lowest Jess announced that we were once again pregnant. I couldn't believe it. First off had we had sex in the last year for this to really happen...?? haha

Anyway we had the baby at home in our new home back in Maine. Then it hit me what the problem was. There were many contributing attributes that created our problems but a lot of it was attitude.

For the last 4 years I had felt out of control of my situation. I felt isolated. I felt I had given up my dreams for what? my wife and kids? I resented my wife all this time for having a career? I had known my wife longer while she was pregnant than when she wasn't?

It took me so long to realize that it is all about how you feel. I knew what I had to do but I still felt like a wimp being a mom. I felt torn.

So what I did was I began to find things that were productive. I started simply by taking out the trash. Some of you may laugh but I in such a slump that I would not take the trash out because I was too lazy.

Anyway.... (this is a long post and must end it soon) I looked at the things I couldn't control vs. the things I could. I can't control what others think. I can't control the fact that my wife is gonna have a baby or is working a good job. Forget those things. They are reality and it is happening. No more "ifs". That is the playing field and you need to learn the field and how to battle it. To battle it you must find the things you can control.

I can control activities! I can control my mood! I can control the cleanliness of my house! I can control the rules!

I cannot control my babies poopies!

I can control the TV shows.

I cannot control my wife.... #1 biggy right here. Learn to live around her. Forget the fights and saying "the world does not revolve around you dear." Doesn't help matters! The world DOES revolve around the wife.

You can control what you eat and how much you exercise.

After I began taking control again of my life and my kids and forgetting about trying to take control of my wife I began to feel so much better and I am now attracted to her again.

It used to be so hard when she was pregnant to find her attractive but I am finding now that no matter which way she fluctuates (larger or smaller) I become more aroused.

Wait til your wife has the baby and starts losing weight.... :D :D

I love that!

But I thnk a lot of it is not as physical as you may think it is. A lot of it may be how you are measuring up to the situation and how you perceive your life at this moment. It is very overwhelming when you are about to have your first child. You worry constantly about the health of the baby. First you hope it is perfect. THen you cry out ot God and hope it has all limbs and no birth defects. Then you start thinking, but I was drunk the night we conceived.... Don't worry, drunk sperm still have great babies.

Then 2 weeks before the baby is born you beg God that the baby is human. I have been there.

The first birth and pregnancy is tough. You will get no attention. Everybody will cater to your wife and baby. You will stay home and spend all of your time with the baby. The wife will see the baby at night. BUT, people will give the woman more credit.

It was like that for me. I have been doing this for 4 years and I am just now starting to get credit for the kids good behaviors, etc...

At first people would tell my wife she was doing an excellent job with the kids even when I am standing right there. It is not that they intend to, it is just the way society has been. It is new to be a stay at home dad. It is a new concept but it is a growing concept.

I still get that today, but at least family members are pinning some credit on me for the things I have done with the kids.

But my wife needs to hear that or she would die of guilt.

Anyway relax and breathe through this part of your life. If you are ever unsure what to say or do, say nothing, do nothing. Just ride it out. Think how your wife must feel. She has gained a lot of weight I'm sure with the baby. Her attitude I assume is difficult to manage. Ride it out. Ride out the storm....

I hope this helps. I would be more than happy to share more but man this post is waaaaaay too long.

[SAHF]

Well ericfm :?:

What has happened to you? Did everything work out and is your family doing fine?

[Dadaland]

I should probably read all these posts before commenting;however, i'll have to do so later as I dont have time , and besides i'm anxsious (you know what i mean) to once again put my foot in my mouth, I realize I will probably offend you know who......

Allow me, in short Chicks are wacked when they are pregnent ,and are still wacked for several months after. Especially if they are breast feeding. Truth, they don't tell you that in any parenting book's, their freakin hormones turn them into super B's.


Ever get in bettween a mother bear and her cub's :twisted: . Your about too!

Repeat after me...Yes dear....Right away...no your right... Im wrong...how stupid of me...No your mother is right....my mother is wrong..he wet 8 no 9 diapers today....no he didnt poo....I last fed him@6:00....or was it 5:00...no no it was 6:00...I wrote it down :idea:

Bite your tounge :? communication is key :!: what you say is not what they hear :shock:

And most of all rember it's a phaze, it's normal,in the mean time your in good company with the best goddamn dads on the planet. :wink:

[Don-Dad]

Eric, I hope all is wrorking out for you! Please come by again!

My son had just gotten out of the hospital for the second time, My wife and I just couldnt seem to get along. And there was more problems that I wont bore you with, but Don told me to keep coming back and venting, I took his advice, and now I cant thank him enough for that advice, and for this site.

How did i miss this before? Wow, I'm glad my advice was good. Comments like that make this site well worth the effort to try and make it better!

[Don-Dad]

Sent Eric an email, told him to check out the thread.

[mjknapp]

Eric, I hope all is wrorking out for you! Please come by again!

My son had just gotten out of the hospital for the second time, My wife and I just couldnt seem to get along. And there was more problems that I wont bore you with, but Don told me to keep coming back and venting, I took his advice, and now I cant thank him enough for that advice, and for this site.

How did i miss this before? Wow, I'm glad my advice was good. Comments like that make this site well worth the effort to try and make it better!

Hey don, that is true, venting on here, talking to all you guys really helped me out of a sticky situation with my wife. Just reading stories, and telling my own stories to all you guys helped me and my wife break a communication barrier that was in the way.

[Don-Dad]

I never received a response to my email to Eric.

[ericfm]

Hi guys... thanks for responding to my post eons ago... I thought that I would get responses sent directly to my email box... so thanks for the email that just got sent to me... I don't have the time to go into a lot at the moment ( I will soon though)... but things moved through and Hannah and I are on great grounds of heart with each other.... and we birthed together our first child... a son... Savar Ocean Grace on July 14th at 928pm in our home in a birth tub. We are savroing him and adjusting to the family vibe. Finding a nice balance of personal, couple, and family spaces... as well as one on one time with each.

You all posted a lot of heartfelt posts... I really appreciate it and will read through them more thoroughly soon....

Thanks again and I will be back!

[SAHF]

HEY!!

Congrats!! Welcome to the world Savar. =D>

[tt3]

CONGRATULATIONS on all fronts, I'm happy to hear things are working out for you!
I'll second SAHF and give a hearty welcome to Savar!

[Remington]

It is great to hear everything is fine. These are the days to cherish!

[ericfm]

Thanks for the welcome to me and my son... and the stories. Remington... its sounds like we a have some things in common as far as age, interests, laziness as default...:)

Savar is beginning to be more here... he was just pure instincts for the first week, now he is more here... more of a soul responding to me.

Getting my finances on track... out of debt.

Something someone said about not telling people your a SAHD... I think we shoul dbe honest with whatver we are doing... and besides it offers a new template of possiblilities in the collective consciousness in conversation. Nothing to be ashamed... non-compensatory masculinity is a jewel. Very valued by me and many others that I know.

Also... I am all for emotional health and maturity... venting is part of that... actually healing the core cause underneath is even better. Part of the work I offer.

What made the weeks prior to birth really hard was that a group of people that I hang with did a big push away from my wife and I.. it really shook us up a bit. Bad timing, and it helped us solidify our bond more between us, as they had been family-like.

In the next months I imagine these friends will re-enter into our lives somehow and we can make amends.

I will try and put up a picture and wife,son, and I... if I can find out how...

in heart,
eric

[Remington]

Remington... its sounds like we a have some things in common as far as age, interests, laziness as default... :)
Sounds like it! The whole home birth experience is quite the trip. We were thinking at one point using a tub. But, I think my wife would splash around. She gets violent and stuff during labor. lol

She would probably try to drown me. :shock:

[ericfm]

Hannah splashed around too... it was great... the tub made it sooo much easier... I can't imagine doing it without one. We soaked for several hours... kinda like being in a hot springs... although my wife was so relaxed all the time:)

I was surprised how erotic the first hours in the tub were...
e

[Jackson's Dad]

I feel like a really poor husband, very restless, and self-critical.

This thread got me thinking: Isn't it amazing how difficult having a child is? How the whole process is a test of who you are, as a man, as a husband. There is nothing I have ever done that has pushed me to such physical, mental and emotional limits. Bungee jumping is for wimps!

What I found most difficult at first was realizing that such a big challenge would be so full of so many small failures. It's like a road race where you keep tripping and skinning your knees. There have been so many moments when I thought to myself "what a horrible father I am". I'd stumble over small obstacles, and berate myself for being weaker than I thought I was (or hoped I was). It has taken me some time to swallow my pride, and deal with this -- I think I am finally realizing that being a good father still means you will be a crappy one at times. It's how you deal with the little failures and obstacles, and move on, that matters.

Dan

P.S. And yes, venting has been such a huge help! It seems that people don't want to hear about how tough it is. Even my mother didn't like to hear me complain. But after a month, when I was feeling so bad, my wife and I had the chance to vent to a couple good friends, and it was such a relief, such a release of pressure. This board is a huge help in that way.

[Remington]

I think you nailed it right there.

I have kicked myself so many times for failure. There are so many times I look back and see how I should have dealt with something differently. Having children brings out the best and the worst in you. We forget the good things we do and focus more on the bad things.

I say as long as we try to better ourselves as a father then we will be better each day. When you go to bed at night, you should think of the day and how you can be a better father tomorrow.

We all make mistakes and we all feel like we don't deal with problems like we thought we would, like that strong ideal father you try to live up to. We learn more about ourselves when dealing with our own children.

I used to tell people how tiresome it was to have kids and how much stress it is. But nobody really truly understood. Sometimes I don't think my very own wife understands. So I stopped. And no matter how tough it gets I promise to tell the complete opposite. When the wife gets home, I don't tell her about all the hurdles I jumped and hoops I dove through. I touch on the highlights of the day. I tell people that everything is going well and that my kids are great.

Nobody wants to hear differently. So I leave this place up for the complaining and being frustrated.

[tt3]

Sometimes I don't think my very own wife understands.

Yup.

I like your philosophy about it, something I need to work on.

[Remington]

Don't get me wrong, I used to complain a lot because I felt most peopel didn't understand and I wanted peopel to know how tough it was.

People may not truly know but they get an idea naturally. So, I get more praises and "good jobs" when I tell them it is fun and the kids are great. It is an attitude thing and soon you adopt a better attitude and things actually do seem better. IF you say things are easy then people will just think you are doing a great job.

It took me 4 years to figure it out... lol

[ericfm]

"And no matter how tough it gets I promise to tell the complete opposite."

Remington... I can't see how withholding your truth and actually saying the opposite is integrous. I understand the whole culture out their that says positive attutide makes everything... I think its all strategic though and not really allowing our real authentic feelings to be.

My true connections with people are ones that listen to all sides and really listen... not just talk with me in ways that they want to hear... that's just not nourishing for me to be in that kind of relationship. Because then I begin living a lie and split myself... which then is modeled to my children that it is okay to do the same... not thanks on both.

E

[Remington]

You brought forth really great points.

I know there are days that are tough and as long as i know personally then that is kept between me and my family. There is no need to share problems outside of the family.

Secondly I look for results. To me results matter. So having a good attitude helps results. It makes my family, my kids, and myself deal with life better.

If it was all about me I would probably continue to spew forth my problems and my difficulties. But this is more than about me. It is about my children and my wife. There are things you can't control sometimes.

I don't beleive everybody needs to know all your issues.

I agree with you totally "if" you deal with the situations within the family group and not deny that problems occur. There are things I don't want to share outside of the family unit.

[Jackson's Dad]

I guess some of this depends on the stage you are at: how old the kids are, and how much experience you have. For me, being at the beginning, I was truly shocked at how tough this was emotionally. I was also surprised at how little emotional support people would give. Even though we were engaging in an effort as old as time, it felt like we were all alone, my wife and I. No one was able to answer simple questions, or even explain a little of what we should expect. Some how, this leads to feelings of inadequacy and confusion. Venting at least provides a way to express this, and hopefully get it out of your system. It's tough though, because you are right -- complaining doesn't solve it. You need to vent and move on, fast. I am learning, but whew it is hard.

Tonight's another long night -- we put Jack to bed two hours ago, and I am still here, trying to calm his fussiness. I have no idea what to do, or why he's like this, but I just plow ahead. I get angry, at him, at me, at his darn pacifier, but try to quickly get that anger out and be calm again. Venting sometimes helps, but I know that even complaining to my wife about this stuff (same complaints every time) starts to wear on her. Gotta learn to be tougher!

[tt3]

We lucked out in being within a cohort (for lack of a better term) of friends with kids all aroudn the same age. We could ask and chat and relate, and I think thats th biggest, relating.
None of them are stay at home dads though, that where this site is valuable.
Jackson's Dad, I don't think its about being tougher just finding the right release, ya know? Being able to have a break is key. I've made no attempts to hide how I love brewing/vinting. It is my release, my hobbie, but more. One brewing session is like a weeks vacation, time away, a release. Like hitting the reset on your tripped GFCI outlet :lol:
Gotta have alone time and time just with you and your wife. My friend Ron (who is also a SAHD) said "God, Wife, Kids, Everything else, man, keep those priorties in that order, and it all falls into place".
Good stuff there, for sure!

I'm rambling, sorry, time for bed.

[tommyw/1]

CONGRATS ERIC!!!!

Remington
She would probably try to drown me. :shock:

Rem, your killing me :D

I'm telling everyone how difficult it is to raise kids as well(while still pulling 40 hours), and agree with Eric about disclosing those feelings, but also agree with you, and want to try to keep the complaining to a minimun....especially with aquaintances. With good friends....let it all hang out!

Right on tt3! ........"God, Wife, Kids, Everything else, man, keep those priorties in that order, and it all falls into place".

[Remington]

I guess I found complaining not to be productive. This could simply be my situation, including amount of friends, family, how each of them are in regards to personality, etc...

For some people it may be fine to get that release.

I simply have found better results with much better attitudes if dad does not complain. I harness those feelings and release them in a productive way, such as going for a walk, or splitting wood, or going to see a movie. These things are much more productive and work for me and the family much better.

So I am not disagreeing with anybody. I just think every situation may be different. :D

[G1cajun]

I too felt that there was some invisible wall even though I loved my wife very much and still do. I realized after 6 months of her pregnancy that what she was going through was painful, emotionally out of control and new to her body and mind. I decided to ignore the fact that I wasn't getting any attention and that our relationship was not the same and just serve my wife. I was a Bartendar when she was pregnant and I got this advice from an old bar customer.

Just be your wife's best friend and serve her to the extreme while she is pregnant. Do not expect anything back for your service. When the baby is born you will see.

I thought he was nuts but, after thinking about his words I did it. Unselfishly serving her needs and pampering her insane requests and forseeing her needs while pregnant. I got few thanks. I got many complaints and chances to hear about her pain and how lucky I was not to be having the baby. I would just respond with " You're right honey that is why I will do anything for you" "You want some ice cream?" "I love you for doing this".

when serving your wife while she is going through pregnancy you will break down the invisible wall. You are not the only one who has built it but, you can break it down.

After our son was born and family came to visit my wife bragged to everyone of them that I was the best husband she could ask for and told them all how supportive and responsible I was. You can look at this as my payback for the months of serving my pregnant wife. The real payback was a healthy child and a sane wife.

Best of luck. You will be fine. Just remember not to be selfish or defensive. Be giving. She is giving of her body and mind 24 hours a day.

[Remington]

Good post G1Cajun,

I was the complete opposite during the first pregancy. I was not very tolerant of my wife. I understood she was undergoing changes physically and mentally but I felt that was no excuse. Or I at least felt she could get her own ice cream... lol

For some reason I am different now. We have a 4th child on the way. My wife is 4 1/2 months pregnant is beginning to really show. She is getting cranky and it is hot and humid. The last few weeks have been complaints straight from her but I don't react.

I used to react as if I wasn't gonna take any crap from anybody. Either way you react the wife is gonna go through the same stuff and the same phases. I have begun now to either not react or react positively. I try and sympathize with her. Some days are better than others.

[ericfm]

Hi Guys... I love the dialogue and openness on this forum with you all...

Thanks for the Congrats Tommy...

Remi... I am not one for complaining... just embracing the source of the complaint and giving it voice... or I see that I tend to be passive aggressive about my needs that I am not letting myself feel. And Yeah... definitely not everything needs to be go out to others... (let it all hang out) a fine balance of sharing and recieving support and keeping the sacred container of a family.

I am also not for one of just assuaging or appeasing my wife due to her pregnancy or moods as I saw someone was talking about... authenticity is the core our bond... only if I feel truly moved to act and respond do I do so... or we both feel it and it feels off... like a lie... and she willing to feel into what her needs are whenver she is upset and in pain and we go from their.

E

[Jackson's Dad]

It was interesting. During my wife's pregnancy, we had none of the relationship difficulties we assume we would have. She had her physical issues, of course, but our relationship didn't change. It shifted and adjusted to the new conditions, but I never felt like she became a different person (or that I became a different person). Lucky, I guess. We had the same experience with out wedding -- no goofy stereotypical bride/groom fights. Just a natural-feeling continuation of who we are.

[ericfm]

Just a natural-feeling continuation of who we are...

I love that expression...

I love it.

Hannah and I have been deepening into who we are and aren't through each phase.... Nothing has been stereotypical... but it doens' feel like we are walking the rebel line either. Slowly differentiating from our conditioning of the past... loving ourselves... and those we are intimate with and those that are open to it and to share it with us. We sure have plenty of relationship difficulties... our defense systems smashing either other's to bits. We are continually finding us as new people... new expressions of ourselves... but I don't think it is as much driven by outer forces alone like a wedding or baby birth, as much as a dance between our inner work and outer dynamics.

E

[jeffus]

I don't wish to under-simplify all the truly great posts, but...

a) she's pregnant! That's a rough ride in itself. And a miracle. She & the baby need you!
b) she's risking her life to bring another into this world.
c) your pregnant wife and the unborn child are pretty much everything that's important to you (or should be), all in one big hormonal, bloated, and beautiful package. Take the very best care of them.
d) you did 2 minutes of work - now you have to pay the piper!
e) and, I cannot stress this enough, it's not about you anymore....!

After the kid's born, forget about attention for yourself. You were the star of your own life when you were single. You took a co-starring role at the wedding. And you signed on for a minor supporting role on conception night. Now you're a janitor. Nobody likes to see him working, but they'll sure miss him if he's gone.

Congrats on the baby. And good luck!

Jeff

[Remington]

Now you're a janitor. Nobody likes to see him working, but they'll sure miss him if he's gone.
Oh man... you sure nailed that one...

[jeffus]

Thanks, Rem.

I'm a little blunt sometimes. A little worried I might have over simplified things or came off too smug. Sorry. I've had 3 years of analyzing this daddy thing and my conclusion is: don't over-analyze it! Have fun. This is what life is all about.

Social expectations, your feelings, her feelings, etc & so on- all poop. The only thing that matters is the kid(s). Be happy they're healthy, happy, and love your self, your spouse, and the kid(s)!

I hate to sink to this level, but it continually pops-up in my mind. Has anyone seen the movie "Mr. Mom" with Michael Keaton. For 70% of the movie, he's wallowing in self-pity, daydreaming of lost possibilities, day-dreaming of self-destructive adultery, doing a ho-hum job of being a dad. It all finally comes together at the end when he snaps out of it and fully applies himself to the task at hand. By the end of the movie, He's got the vaccuum trained, the kid gives up the woobie, and has the whole situation under control (hah).

I went through the funk. Globetrotting engineer. Now I'm watching a drooler. Felt sorry for myself for a while. Now, I feel sorry for everybody who doesn't get a chance to do this! Kids are awesome, I used to be one. I'm a kid again...everyday from 1 to 2 pm. Before and after, I'm the enforcer.
Jeff

[SAHF]

I don't wish to under-simplify all the truly great posts, but...

a) she's pregnant! That's a rough ride in itself. And a miracle. She & the baby need you!
b) she's risking her life to bring another into this world.
c) your pregnant wife and the unborn child are pretty much everything that's important to you (or should be), all in one big hormonal, bloated, and beautiful package. Take the very best care of them.
d) you did 2 minutes of work - now you have to pay the piper!
e) and, I cannot stress this enough, it's not about you anymore....!

After the kid's born, forget about attention for yourself. You were the star of your own life when you were single. You took a co-starring role at the wedding. And you signed on for a minor supporting role on conception night. Now you're a janitor. Nobody likes to see him working, but they'll sure miss him if he's gone.

Congrats on the baby. And good luck!

Jeff

:!:

How true this is. BUT one thing was left out of the equation. After the miracle of birth...your heart changes to mush when you get your first smile. And when the words are uttered...I love you daddy....you world will turn upside down.

Like Jeff said....time to deal with it is now...the rewards are endless from there!

[Remington]

It took me less than 2 minutes, but.........but............. BUT.... I get the next 18 years at home alone with them all day long, she can be alone for 9 months... :lol: :lol: :lol:

I sure hope my wife doesn't read this... :wink: