Bed time

[mjknapp]

This doesnt really apply to babies, but for all of us that have toddlers, and young children. What time is bedtime for your kids. We used to use 7:30 for our 3 yr old, but I thought that was a little too early, so I moved it back to 8:00. I think this is working better, as she usually gets up at 7-7:30 am now. I bet 8:00 is the norm, but some of the moms at gymnastics were talking a while back about their kids up at 9-10 at night. Well I think that is way too late, and that is my time with my wife. Maybe I am just to strict of a parent, or maybe they are a pushover of a parent, I am just wondering what you guys think?

[tt3]

This is one thing that I'm a firm believer of kids need more sleep. Those same moms probably let their kids have coke or whatever in the afternoon cuz their tired. Tara gets put down at 8 usually. And she usually stays asleep until 7 or so.
I wish more parents would be "strict" ya know? I get frustrated when the kids rule the situation, not the parents.


Hear me now, just wait a few years, right?!? :roll:
:lol: :lol:

[mjknapp]

Good, I am glad someone has the same veiw as me on this, as I dont let her stay up past 8, unless I am giving her a special treat top stay up with mom and dad and eat popcorn and watch a movie. But she knows it is a special event, and she is being rewarded for good behavior.

[Remington]

This is an interesting topic and I think that with a normal schedule, meaning parents or parent work during the day and come home, the child should be in bed before 9pm. I would say 8pm but my kids go to bed at 9pm... :D

There are a few reasons why I keep them up an hour longer.

My kids wake up at about 7:00 or 7:30am to see mommy off to work at 7:50am. My 3 and 4 year old have formal naps at 2 in the afternoon. No ifs ands or buts. they can scream, cry, pout, it doesn't matter.

I beleive even though kids don't like naps and such, they need routine. It comforts kids to know that their atmosphere is secure. It makes them feel more sure about themselves. It is ok to break routine from time to time but they need a sense of security through rouitines.

So I make sure they get their naps.

dinner is a little bit later than normal because my wife doesn't get home till about 7pm. SOmetimes earlier but not very often. So we have dinner late. I hate to feed my kids and then send them straight to bed. They get a little wound up after dinner and so I let them play for an hour or so, which usually puts it around 8:30ish sometimes later. Then I take the last 15-30 minutes reading to them before they go to bed.

So it works out real well for 9pm and we are fixed on that time.

If mom was home for 6pm dinners I would probably send them to bed at 8pm.

[floridamcmarion1]

I am a firm believer in early bedtimes. My toddlers go down at 7 PM and are usually up around 6:30 to 7:00 AM. There are those that claim their child won't go down that early, but I don't believe them. We have had 15 foster kids, with about half having been toddlers, and they all adjusted to the early bedtime within a week or so. Several of those kids had no set bedtime before coming to live with us, but even those made the adjustment quite well. The early bedtime is important for them so they get enough sleep, but it's just as important for you. I cherish that quiet time each evening. It's even better if my wife isn't at a meeting that night and we can get some piece and quiet together.

[mjknapp]

I beleive in an earlier bedtime also, I think 9 pm is way to late for my situation, but I understand fully why it owrks for you. I wouldnt like to send my kids to bed right after dinner either.
The naps are another story, My 6 month old always takes a nap on the schedule that took me a long time to get him into. But my three yr old, I cant really force her to sleep, but after lunch every day, I make her go up to her room for some down time. Sometimes she falls asleep, but sometimes I hear her up there reading a book or coloring. As long as she is up there for down time, I dont care if she sleeps or not. It also guves me the time to clean up the messes from the morning, and get the house ready for the afternoon messes.

[Don-Dad]

Well, I am not part of the norm. My 9 month old goes to bed anywhere from 8-9:30(except last night he was sick so he was up even later).

Now my 4 year old stays up past 10:00 most nights and forget it if he takes a nap. He stopped taking naps at 3. He will take a np if he is out in the sun all day. an no he does not drink any coke during the day :P

I do not mind it so much. Sometimes we even play that time of night.

Also I run my business out of the house and only get work done at night. So usually I do not get to sleep to 1:00am. It's nice that my some wakes up around 9:00 usually. My 9 month old wakes usually between 8:00 and 9:00 so dad can get his 6-7 hours in.

All kids are different and so are their parents. You can't judge or assume anything about those kids or parent who stay up past 8:00.

[Remington]

That's true Don. I think whatever works best for the family.

Back when my wife was going to college and it was in the summer, my wife would work 2nd shift and I worked 3rd shift. Our jobs were right across the street from each other but we lived 1/2 hour away. Her shift ended at 11 and mine started at midnight. I would drive to her work with the baby and we would eat at 11pm together, like a Subway sandwich. Then I would give her the baby and drive across the street and go to work. My wife would take the baby home and put her to bed at around 1am.

Then I would get home and wake my wife up to go to school and I would try to squeeze in a few hours of sleep before the baby woke up... maybe around 10am.... :D

[mjknapp]

No I agree, all parents and situations are different, that is why I started this thread, to get many ideas, and points of view on bedtimes. I guess it all depends on peoples schedules and what works best for them.

[tt3]

Certainly no judgment passed! Darn tootin every kid and family is different :lol: Don, your boy still gets a solid chunk of sleep, thats what I think is important...
I figure its easier on all of us getting Tara to bed by 8,
And naps, holy cow I was bummed when she stopped taking her morning nap! The afternoon nap is still set in stone barring unforseens.

[mjknapp]

Does she sleep everytime you put her down, as I found that even just relaxing time in her room is all she will do sometimes, but she falls asleep too. I put them both down right after lunch, and get them up about an hour and a half to two hours later.

[tt3]

Honestly, most times she does sleep, but she has dodged a few ;)
doesn't matter, She goes down and I get her in an hour or when she wakes up. Set in stone.
Its not as much for her as it is for me. You go to work, you get a break every four hours, well darnit, so do I! :lol: Like was mentioned it gives me a chance to pick up a bit and gives me some down time as well.

[katlinsdaddy]

We had Katlin in a wonderful routine of going to bed at 8 pm THEN the dreaded time change this spring....ever since then she's been going to bed at 9pm we were never able to get her back to the 8pm time after moving the clocks ahead. We'll have to see if come fall when we set the clocks back again if she sticks with this and goes back to going to bed at 8pm
But I do agree that they need a schedule for naps and bedtime, it makes them happier cuz they get the sleep they need

[chefdave]

It kinda sounds like I'm one of the newer Dad's here...I have an 8 month old. We start the process of putting him to bed at about 8:00 with a bath, and then by 8:20 or so he's in PJ's and we're reading to him and trying to get him to have quiet time. At about 8:30 we give him a warm bottle to try and help him relax...most times that works and he get's very sleepy and we can put him down as soon as he's done. Unfortunately he's teething right now (working on tooth number 8!!!)

Nap times rae a completely different story. The usual routine is that it takes anywhere from 20-45 minutes of him screaming and protesting - having a tantrum like you would think we were beating him - At a certain point, I just have to put him in his crib and walk away, because it drives me right over the edge.

Sometimes I get scared about how frustrated I get...I'm trying really hard to keep myself in contrrol and sometimes I just can't . I ceratinly know well enough not to do anything that would hurt him, but I'm really afraid that one day my temper is just going to get the better of me. And I just don't really know where to tun for help. I love him so much but he just drives me crazy sometimes

I'm sitting here bawling my eyes out while I'm typing this...I guess it was just a pretty rough day. I'm surprised how much TYPING something can just let it all out.

Anyway...thanks for letting me vent..I guess I needed it. Tomorrow is a new day, and I get a fresh chance to be the best dad that I can be, and I guess that's all that I can hope for.

[mjknapp]

I get really overwhelmed too, I sometimes second guess my decision to stay at home, how much easier things were when I worked, When the kids stert getting on my nerves, my almost 8 mo old starts his crying and never stops, it makes me want to pull my hair out. I have never lost it yet either, but I feel that sinking feeling in my stomach, I feel so overwhelmed, that I want to scream at the kid, but something pulls me away, and I will go out and have a cig or something, and that gives me a few minutes to calm down. I think you are doing a great job dave, just keep up what you are doing, and remember for every bad day there is a good day to look back on to. It is just easier to remember the bad days.

[mjknapp]

Hey chefdave. I live in bucks county pa, I was looking for a map to see how close bergen county was, it is in north jersey right?? I live about 20 minutes north of philadelphia right on the delaware river.

[tt3]

Dave, hang in there bud, like you say today's another day.

Tara's nap routine is 10minutes long, but starts after lunch when I know she's already tired. I tell her nap time is in a "x" minutes, then bring her up, change her diaper if needed, read a story or two (her fav right now is "runnaway bunny") then 5minutes of rockabye, and down she goes.
That sounds easy, its not, "down she goes" means into the crib she goes... protests or not. She's usually asleep within 1/2hr.
Your routine doesn't have to be hugely complex, just consistant. I started that nap routine when she was about 10months after banging my head against the wall again and again and nothing worked.
They've got to know its coming, and it should be consistant, thats it.

There have also been MANY times where I set her in her crib and just walk away for a while. There are still times that I do that. (Now being one, in fact... long night, early rise.... argh)

[chefdave]

Things seem to be going MUCH better today....maybe yesterday my planets were just lined up wrong or something like that. :?

Isn't it strange how from one day to the next it can seem like nothing really changes, but how you handle it is like night and day.

I think I have to get better at laying down the law of nap time.. My wife had the idea that right now so much is going on in his world and there is so much that's new and exciting that he just doesn't want to miss any of it...he crawls, he stands up, he can start to communicate with us. I knida remember being that way when I was a kid.

[tt3]

to which I would respond he needs down time to register it all and rest up for the next batch of new things. If he knows when its coming he can learn to expect it.
(Tara expects it by trying to dodge it :lol: )
It is cool how mindset can effect perception of the situation... um, does that even make sense?

cheers!

[Els_Jamie]

I put the toddlers down at 8pm most nights, but they usually take 30min to an hour to actually wind down and go to sleep, depending on the activities of the day. They're up around 8am, but again, take quiet self play time until around 9am or so. As for naps, they usually go down around 1pm or so, easy to tell when they start getting quiet and laying down on the floor to play more often. The baby is still getting used to this whole idea, but is usually asleep by 9pm or so, giving the wife and I time together since I'm up until 1am anyway to connect our oldest to his feeding pump, supplemental due to health problems at birth.