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Old 12-08-2013, 03:08 AM
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Default Kids hockey

My daughter is the u10a goalie. They had a difficult game today but they could have won it. After the game a couple of the girls were laughing, probably about something completely unrelated, but the coach went off a bit on them in the locker room. "It's not about having fun, it's about winning!" along those lines. After the coaches left apparently there was some screaming between team mates. It made my daughter uncomfortable and she doesn't want to go to practice tomorrow.

Anyway, I tried to play the middle, we'll see. Basically what I said is he's kind of right, at this level it's competitive. They won the spot on the team. Sure they should still have fun and the minute she's not having fun anymore we'll be done, BUT it's an awful lot of fun to win.

Thankfully none of the anger was directed at the goalie. She had 31 shots on goal and stopped 29 of them. They lost 1-2.
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Old 12-08-2013, 10:20 AM
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To a point, I have to disagree. At 10 years old, it's about fun, and it's about developing fundamentals and the understanding of the game.
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Old 12-08-2013, 04:17 PM
silviomossa silviomossa is offline
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Along those lines, I'd say that's it's not about fun or winning, but about getting better. And if the kid is into the sport, getting better is fun.

We finished an eight year old soccer season last month. Score isn't officially kept, but kids know the goal tally, more or less. However, the kids on our team got *way* better by the time the season ended, thanks to a skilled coach. That will help him when he's older if he wants to keep up with it.

The hard part, with youth sports, is the random quality of the coaches. I don't begrudge them -- most volunteer and the time is appreciated. Still, coaches that know how to both teach and encourage kids are quite valuable.
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Old 12-08-2013, 11:25 PM
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Here is, in part, an email from the coach:
Quote:
This has been addressed to a point with girls most heavily involved and there was no finger pointing as to why we lost by any girls. The arguing was over how to handle a loss and escalated into a couple of shut ups. I am glad there was finally a little emotion shown, to bad is was not until the game was over.
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This is not mites anymore and along with fun the ultimate goal is to win a competition. I don't want these girls to get used to losing and become OK with it ever. It seems to be a common thing with this association and community sports programs.
Unfortunately what he's saying is kind of true. I talked with guys who've lived here all their lives and to play our city was kind of a "gimme" game as in it's an easy win. That would indicate a systemic problem vs a single coach or team.
Anyway, still kind of mixed feelings on how to feel about this.
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Old 12-08-2013, 11:43 PM
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This is a tough one. By the tone of the coach's e-mails it seemed to be OK. I get his message. If this is an "elite or travel team" there is definitely a higher level of desire to win expected. That being said, my daughter's travel basketball team lost to a team half their size but the other team played much more aggressive and worked harder. I bumped into one of the coaches at Mass later and he informed me that he is stepping down as asst. coach because he does not agree with the way the girls are being coached. They are 5th and 6th graders! I give up!
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Old 12-08-2013, 11:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silviomossa View Post
Along those lines, I'd say that's it's not about fun or winning, but about getting better. And if the kid is into the sport, getting better is fun.

We finished an eight year old soccer season last month. Score isn't officially kept, but kids know the goal tally, more or less. However, the kids on our team got *way* better by the time the season ended, thanks to a skilled coach. That will help him when he's older if he wants to keep up with it.

The hard part, with youth sports, is the random quality of the coaches. I don't begrudge them -- most volunteer and the time is appreciated. Still, coaches that know how to both teach and encourage kids are quite valuable.
No shit! Last year my daughters rec basketball team was beating another team pretty bad early in a game. The ref has the discretion to award the losing team 3 points for a basket in those situations. Oddly enough the other team made a nice comeback and won and the girls on my daughter's team were spitting nails knowing what went on.

My definition of a good coach is one who makes the weakest player better.
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Old 12-09-2013, 12:46 AM
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My Son's Little League coach was a bit on the tough side with them. They won the championship, but at the cost of his coaching gig. So many kids in tears. because he just screamed at them for stupid mistakes. My son was told not to swing at a ball EVER. The only kid on the team he "coached" was his son. So many complaints and kids wanting to leave. They asked him not to come back.
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Old 12-09-2013, 02:21 AM
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Yeah, we're talking a traveling team, representing our city statewide at this level. Tryouts, uniforms, ice bills, and all the rest that goes into it. It definitely should be fun, but they should have some passion for winning.

The coach isn't a screamer, he played for the Gophers for a bit, I think he's got a decent head on his shoulders for the most part.

It's a tough one...
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Old 12-10-2013, 07:14 PM
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I am a high school football coach (yes and a stay at home dad- pretty great deal I have going on) so I can see both sides.

I think the Little League Soccer / Tball / fill in the sport Coach who goes all Bobby Knight during a "Rec" league game needs to realize that its about the kids playing and having fun etc.

I think once you step into the elite / travel / AAU level that comes with a little more expectations. The players are not 1st year players trying out the sport, getting their feet wet, etc. Now I believe that the emphasis at this level should be on learning to compete, practice, sportmanship, etc. and I think by the tone of the coaches email that seems to be what he was getting across.
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Old 12-11-2013, 08:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tt3 View Post
Here is, in part, an email from the coach:



Unfortunately what he's saying is kind of true. I talked with guys who've lived here all their lives and to play our city was kind of a "gimme" game as in it's an easy win. That would indicate a systemic problem vs a single coach or team.
Anyway, still kind of mixed feelings on how to feel about this.


When I was in 7th grade basketball, we won one game for a 1-11 record. 8th grade 1-11, 9th grade same group of guys, 1-19.

10th grade we got a new Varsity coach and Jv coach implementing new systems (Indiana's Motion Offense coupled with tenacious D). 7-13

Prior to that, our Varsity program had won only 7 games total in the previous 5 seasons combined. My older brother went thru two 0-20 seasons.

11th grade, 14-6.

12th grade, 17-3, won the league against a school over 3x our student population (1250 vs 4500), won Districts, lost in Regionals.

It's not that the kids are used to losing, it's that the program sucks.

Don't focus on the winning. Focus on the fundamentals and processes that lead to winning. Repetition will lead to confidence, and success, which of course lead to more confidence and more success.

I had an awesome jump shot but could never hit a free throw to save my life. The new coach taught me to quit focusing on making the shot, instead focus on the fundamental mechanics of a free throw which he taught me, practice with repetition. I became a 90%+ ft shooter.

Last edited by Tomcat; 12-11-2013 at 08:48 PM.
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