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Old 09-04-2017, 04:31 PM
Captain Tuttle's Avatar
Captain Tuttle Captain Tuttle is offline
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Default Interesting article on "Lead Parenting"

Most of our wives are of the "Alpha" type, they tend to be leaders. This article addresses that and how men step up even when both spouses work.

And even when family-friendly policies are in place, dads face subtler psychological, cultural, and social obstacles. In many cases, studies show, they are stigmatized for taking advantage of such policies. The very idea of men as lead parents still makes many people uncomfortable at a deep and often subconscious level. Nothing quiets a dinner-party conversation more quickly than a chance mention of the fact that my wife outearns me.

Interesting article, especially as some of us go back into the work force or contemplate it.

For me personally, my wife is the lead parent. She works 10 minutes from the school and her schedule is much more flexible than mine. She still makes more than me but that never bothered me. I gave up ten years of my career though (no regrets) to stay home so she could advance her career to the point it is now.

Anyway, I thought it was relevant to some of us on here.
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Old 09-05-2017, 01:39 PM
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TwoCubs TwoCubs is offline
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Good article. Thanks Tuttle.
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more -- Shakespeare, Henry V

"Just smile and wave, boys, smile and wave"--The Penguins, Madagascar

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Old 09-05-2017, 01:54 PM
757dad 757dad is offline
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Thanks for sharing- that was a really good read and one I recommend for all guys on here.
One of the lines that stood out for me was- "A female executive needs what male CEOs have always had: a spouse who bears the burden at home."

The only way that this thing works is if it is seen as a team. My wife's career advancement and accomplishments are "Ours" not hers alone. Part of my role is knowing that when she is asked to fly here or work late or take care of this that I am supporting her by being fully responsible for the kids and house so she can focus on the task at hand.

I have more thoughts but was on my way out the door when I started reading this article.
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Old 09-05-2017, 03:54 PM
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Mark B. Mark B. is offline
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Good read, but we have seen stuff like this in the past. Nothing ever seems to change. I know for sure, and a couple of her former bosses have confirmed this, that because I am home full time her availability for last minute assignments and such has played a big role in her advancement.

I am sure the part about loneliness and guys needing a guys network hit home for a lot of us. Also, as older Statesman like Riggs and I have been saying here, the demands only grow as the kids get older.

Thanks for sharing Tuttle.
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Old 09-06-2017, 03:47 AM
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Riggs Riggs is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2006
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Always interesting to read these perspectives, thanks. That guy I think shows that if you still try to have a fairly high powered career as the "lead" parent, it could backfire as he described with one of their teens. I'd be a little embarrassed to say I was the lead parent then when a kid started failing my wife had to leave her job to fix the problem. Yeah, Mark's right, there's still a lot of stuff going on in teen years, and it gets more serious at those ages when things fall through the cracks. Not that there's many who can afford to have somebody stay home that long, we who can are some lucky families.

Regarding for this quote from there,
Only 8 percent believe children are better off with Dad at home.
I can only say, f*%$ you other 92%, my kid is at MIT.
2 boys, ages 19 & 16. SAHD from the beginning
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Old 09-14-2017, 12:33 PM
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Kwak Kwak is offline
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I finally got to read this article. I found it to be a great read with lots of good points. I touches on many of the "typical SAHD" points that we've all griped about here over the years and it affirms much of what I suspected about what my wife is dealing with in her career.

OTOH, it still shows that my marriage is on the fringe with a special needs kid, no support structure and a wife whose career demands more and more of her time outside of 9-5, not to mention the fact that we're both dealing individually with midlife crises. There are many times where I feel like I've been hit by a hurricane.
Married to Kelly, 6/19/1999
SAHD since August, 2004
Father to Justin, 2/27/2004
Father to Joseph, 3/11/2007
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