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  #1  
Old 04-25-2006, 06:33 PM
berserker
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Default behavior worries about 7 month old?

ok... first let me say I'm ashamed I have to write this. Not because I don"t believe in help, but I'm a teacher, or I was b4 staying home. I know what I'm doing is wrong, but I don"t know how to act.

I"ve a beautiful baby boy (Isaac) who is almost seven months old. Most of the time he's a totally happy kid. Smiles constantly and is very sociable, barring the slight seperation anxiety he's going through (trying to resolve that by goin to a gym with childcare a few times a week)

Lately however I've found myself getting very annoyed and angry with him. We'll be in a room and he's in his exersaucer or sitting on the floor playing and I"ll be in the room either practicing my guitar or reading out loud when he'll just suddenly let out a horrendous scream that turns into crying. Most of the time it's hunger, but even then he doesn't eat very much. I get angry that he's so upset, but not eating or sleeping or whatever his distraction is. I end up yelling at a 7 month old. ( I know it's insane, which is part of my shame here)

I do not want to squelch this happy boy I've got here at home, but I'm pretty lost right now. I haven't talked to mother about it in depth. I guess I don't want her to worry while she's working.

PLease help...I want to be a good dad. Even my own mother tells me we got our challenging child first though.

I could write on here for quite a while, but I"m interested in replies. Thanks.
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  #2  
Old 04-25-2006, 06:46 PM
silviomossa silviomossa is offline
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I don't see what is wrong or unusual. Kids will scream when they want something or they think something is wrong -- sometimes we can figure it out, sometimes we can't. One good thing is that you recognize your impatience, and therefore know that you need to hold it in check. Which you'll need to do, because if he's only seven months, then you've go a lot of years of unexplained screaming and crying ahead of you. Enjoy.

Also Gymboree classes are good, but while you probably know this, don't expect a quick fix. Seperation anxiety can last another year or two, and classes won't resolve that. Any socialization is good for the kids, however.

Finally, I wouldn't be down on yourself because you were a teacher. Whatever age you taught (I had 9th graders for nine years), this is a very different ballgame. However, like in the classroom, once a lousy day is in the books, it's over. Every new day is a fresh start.

Final bit of unrelated (and unsolicited) advice: Seven months is the age when kids start to fit into hiking packs. If you don't have one, get one. They are great for walks in the warm spring weather, and most kids love them since the parent is up close, they can see a lot more, and can be talked to more easily.

Good luck.
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  #3  
Old 04-25-2006, 06:57 PM
silviomossa silviomossa is offline
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I wanted to add to my too-long first response:

Seven months is an age when kids begin to require more activity and play. Thus, time for personal hobbies may start to get squeezed and more confined to naptime. You may have to adjust your expectations a bit, for while the beginning months have their own set of challenges, a parent has a lot more time to do things in the early months.
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  #4  
Old 04-25-2006, 07:01 PM
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How often do you get to be by yourself? Not during naptime, but like mom's watching squirt and you are out of the house doing (fill in the blank).

Its really key that you can do that. Whatever it is, get away for a few hours. The adjustment in attitude is worth it. Get out for a while, thats my advice. I remember notsofondly when Tara was that age. Its tough, man, I feel for you!
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  #5  
Old 04-25-2006, 09:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silviomossa
I wanted to add to my too-long first response:

Seven months is an age when kids begin to require more activity and play. Thus, time for personal hobbies may start to get squeezed and more confined to naptime. You may have to adjust your expectations a bit, for while the beginning months have their own set of challenges, a parent has a lot more time to do things in the early months.
I appreciate your response and advice. What do you do if the kid won't sleep? This child will not nap. He's always awake. He napped for 45 minutes this morning and 30 this afternoon. I let him cry to get back to sleep...he'll bawl for over an hour. I've tried establishing regular naptimes morning and afternoon. I've read the book "Healthy sleep habits..." I've followed it word for word. He doesn't nap. He does sleep at night albeit with some waking. He's down to two a night recently, but daytime it's like his mission to not nap. This has been my only chance to respond to postings and he's still awake, but in a swing watching a baby Mozart vid.

Any suggestions on napping now? Sorry to be such a whiner, but this kid is driving me crazy and he can't even crawl or walk or talk yet. I don't know if I can do this.

Again, if you can spare a moment. Please help again.
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  #6  
Old 04-25-2006, 10:18 PM
silviomossa silviomossa is offline
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First, you aren't whining a bit. I asked a slew of question on forums when my first was in her first year. It's a good route to take.

Second, her lack of sleep *certainly* has a good bit to do with his mood. How you handle the sleep depends on the philosophy of you and your spouse. I recall stroller walks at that age, slept with her during naps, car rides when it helped -- whatever worked until we figured out a philsophy that worked for us, which wasn't until our first was about nine months old. And btw, she's now four and a great kid, and those early bits of chaos and indecision did not damage her a bit.

A quick rundown of those (along with loads of other issues) can be found at this site:

http://www.babycenter.com/baby/babysleep/index

Scroll down to the "Baby Won't Sleep 6-9 Months" article and that gives you the overview of the five main philosophies, and perhaps something in there might help. Personally, I'm partial to the Dr. Sears approach (his site has more info as well), but deciding your route is a family decision.

Let us know how it goes. And to me, the best thing about this site and others is asking questions that I need help with (and I've had tons), and helping others with their when I can. So keep them coming whenever needed.
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  #7  
Old 04-25-2006, 10:34 PM
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When it comes to daytime napping, every kid is different. If you get a 30 and 45 minute nap out of him, that doesn't sound too bad. Usually they last longer, but I found with my two kids that longer daytime naps mean it's harder to get them to bed and they wake more often at night.

Is your boy teething? That may explain some of the sudden screaming. Other than that, it might be gas.

The thing is, with kids that young, you never really know. You have to try all the different solutions to see what it is that's bothering him. My 2nd screamed unconsolably when he was tired, and had a whiney cry when he was hungry. I would usually check his diaper, try to feed him. try to burp him, put him in the bouncy chair, hold and rock him while singing, etc. Eventually, most of the time, I'd figure it out, or would distract him enough for him to stop crying. But there were times when nothing nothing would work. Sometimes babies just need to cry. Sometimes they get overstimulated and need to cry because that's the only way they can calm themselves down.

It's really easy to get frustrated and feel helpless - we've all been there. There were many times I just couldn't take the screaming anymore and I'd just put him in his crib and close the door for a while to calm down a bit.

That age is tough, but hang in there! My daughter (now almost 2 1/2) screamed non-stop for 1-3 hours every single evening around dinner time. This went on for almost 4 months. Nothing we did worked and she was fine medically. Some babies are just fussy. The important thing is to be able to recognize when you're getting angry, put the baby in a safe place, and go to another room to vent. The baby crying does not mean you're a bad father or don't know what you're doing - that's just the way they are sometimes.

Anyway, I hope I haven't rambled too much, but I felt your pain. Hang in there! It get's better, honestly!
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Old 04-25-2006, 10:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SGTDad
Is your boy teething?
that was my first thought...
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  #9  
Old 04-26-2006, 02:40 AM
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Hang in there, you're not strange for feeling frustrated. Most of us have probably yelled at least once, just don't make it a habit.

My 9 month-old changes her sleep pattern weekly now, so I've given up trying to figure it out. I never could prior to this why should I now. I just stay close, engaged and try to follow her cues. She's not a great napper either (usually two 30-60 minute naps a day with 60 minutes being very rare). I also like Dr. Sears and while I'm not strictly an Attatchment Parent I use a lot of thier ideas and she is sleeping much better these days.

Lately if I can't get my girl to settle down and she is obviously tired, I put her in the baby sling and wear her around the house while I'm doing simple chores, etc...frequently she nods off on my chest, but usually it just mellows her out enough to put her into bed for a little nap.

I used to play guitar for her when she was smaller, but as she became more active I gave it up. I used to spend more time online to, but have had to give that up as well. My free time is in the evenings now when my wife comes home, I don't even try to have a life during the day anymore.

Good luck...remember this part of parenting is very temporary, in a few months you won't even remember why you were so stressed.
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  #10  
Old 04-26-2006, 02:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silviomossa
Seven months is an age when kids begin to require more activity and play.
I have to agree. My wife had the first 5 months, then I started staying home. I think it was around 7 months that my son was starting to crawl and become more mobile.

As SGTDAD said
Quote:
It's really easy to get frustrated and feel helpless - we've all been there. There were many times I just couldn't take the screaming anymore and I'd just put him in his crib and close the door for a while to calm down a bit.
I too remember many a time (especially changing diapers) when he was fussy/not cooperating that I had to put him in his crib, and take a few minutes to collect myself. I felt guilty doing it :oops: , but I remember somebody telling me that was the best thing to do. It gives you time to calm down, breath, and realize that he may just be crying to stretch his lungs.

Also, one thing I found out quickly was that just when you think they're on a schedule, they change their schedule. The advice I would give is that when he does sleep, you should too (or at least veg out for a while).

Good luck. :D
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